13 Love Songs To The Paparazzi

Bashing the paparazzi is a great way to humblebrag about your totally inconvenient fame. But this can’t be the only reason pop stars love singing about them.

1. Like hating trolls and rising gas prices, hating the paparazzi is profoundly uncontroversial.

But the paparazzi is nevertheless every pop star’s artistic muse. Even Anne Hathaway wrote a mildly peeved song about them.

3. Most of us can’t relate to these #CelebProblems

4. But everyone understands why they hate the paps.

5. So why do pop stars still sing these pap-smears?

6. For one, it’s every young starlet’s rite of passage (something something male gaze).

7. Pap songs often appear on sophomore albums.

8. Maybe label execs push producers and songwriters to write pap songs in an attempt to manufacture a “tragic fame” vibe for their artists.

9. For some new artists, writing songs about hating the paparazzi is like a bid for relevance.

Rob Fusali cowrote “Paparazzi” with Lady Gaga even before she released her debut album, before most people even knew about her. Bold move.

10. For stars on the wane, pap songs make great comeback hits, a chance to plead media martyrdom, and show real human frailties.

Piece of Me” was a shockingly personal, human song coming from such a studio-groomed celeb. No comment about the crucifix, though.

11. Some artists’ breakout hits brag about not wanting the whole “paparazzi-hounded” lifestyle.

But ironically this is what helps them get famous.

12. Pap hate allowed Michael Jackson to show a gruffer side and try out his Tom Waits voice.

13. Anyone who can manage to piss off The Cranberries has to be pretty foul.

14. These K-pop starlets hate paps so much they’re basically threatening to blow up their cars.

15. Instead of writing pap songs, this is another way to turn pap annoyance into publicity. Don’t waste art on the unworthy, y’all!

16. But yeah. Why so many songs about paps when we already know how we feel about them?

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