1. Crossdressing to take your friend's high school exam
2. Owning more than two dildos in Arizona (or six in Texas)
3. Wearing a red mask while committing misdemeanors in Arizona
4. Having oral sex in Georgia's high schools
5. Improperly remodelling old asbestos buildings
6. Joking about having a bomb in your luggage
7. Being too poor to pay court fines
8. Checking your spouses' mail/email
9. Being baited into buying weed by undercover cops
10. Getting stopped and frisked
11. Living in a high-conviction neighborhood
Whew! Good luck, folks, and may you never have to drink this bag of prison hot dog wine.
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