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13 Things That Just Aren't Cutting It Anymore

Nobody likes to be tied down. Here are some handy tips on how to seamlessly sever ties with just about anyone! Break free from from anything holding you back — including your cable company — with Sling TV.

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1. Your Lunch Buddy / Via

Why It's Time: The conversation just isn't flowing. And even though you're TRYING to work on your eye contact, he just holds it for way too long. Even an eye contact PRO couldn't handle it. Also, you've made cooler friends. He was just the first-day-of-work bud.

How to Do It: "Hey you, let's go out somewhere NICE for lunch today. On me. Because I'm leaving you. I'm gonna have to snip this."

2. Your Friend Who Won't Stop Talking About Their Baby

Halfpoint / Via Thinkstock

Why It's Time: It's on Facebook. It's on Instagram. You barely know her, and you certainly don't know the baby. IT HAS TO STOP NOW!

How to Do It: Just delete that mommy. SNIP, MOMMY.

3. Your Relationship


Why It's Time: You're not growing. You're shrinking. You actually feel shorter. You need OUT. And the kissing has just gotten...weird.

How to Do It: Text your soon-to-be-former-boo and say, "Hey, are you around today?" Do NOT say, "Hey, I need to talk to you." This will cause your almost-ex to freak out, and that's not good for either of you. Meet up. And...SNIP. Hug them, and peace.

5. Actually, Your Entire Gym Membership


Why It's Time: You burn more calories texting at the gym than actually exercising at the gym. And now you don't have a workout buddy. Plus, you made a promise to yourself to stop paying for things you don't use.

How to Do It: These guys are notoriously hard to shake, so write a strongly worded letter about how dirty their towels are, muster what little upper-body strength you have, and...SNIP!

6. Your Therapist

monkeybusinessimages / Via Thinkstock

Why It's Time: She doesn't understand what it means to be a "lumbersexual," and she never will. Your other lumbersexual friends continually tell you, "You need to find a therapist who understands what it's like. You're wasting your time."

How to Do It: Promise her that you'll write an INCREDIBLE Yelp review for her, and tell all your non-lumbersexual friends about her. And then...SNIP. Hug her, ask for her card, and scoot.

8. Your Carpool

Bruce Fingerhood / (CC BY http://2.0) / Via Flickr: springfieldhomer

Why It's Time: You realize that, as environmentally friendly as taking a carpool is, taking the train is better. And you don't want this world to end sooner than it has to.

How to Do It: On your last day in the carpool, make everyone treats, create a custom playlist, and hug EVERYONE. Then, invite people to join you on the train, and snip.

9. Your Cleaning Lady


Why It's Time: You realize that having a cleaning lady is sort of— well, now your house is practically too clean. It's making you a little uncomfortable.

How to Do It: IMPORTANT: Do not snip until you've gotten her another gig with another person who will pay her as much or more than you. Then, hug the heck out of that girl and ask for her secrets.

11. You Favorite, Tattered Old T-shirt

sirastock / Via Thinkstock

Why It's Time: It is legitimately AWFUL looking, honey. The memories are one thing, look like you're trying to do that whole deconstructed/scary goth/'I'm rich but I wanna look destitute" thing...and you're NOT trying to. That's not you.

How to Do It: Frame it! Hang it over your bed. An easy, cute snip.

12. That TV in Your Bedroom / Via

Why It's Time: Be honest with yourself: It isn't doing you any favors. When was the last time you went outside? Your friends are thinking of staging an intervention.

How to Do It: Move that sucker to the living room; it's an easy snip that will make all the difference. And while you're at it, slap on some sunscreen, grab your portable device of choice, and enjoy your favorite show on a grassy knoll.

13. Your Ex Lover / Via

Why It's Time: They're not good for you, and you know it. You're stopping each other from moving on! Case in point: You still use their cable password to stream things online. Tsk tsk. Tsk tsk.

How to Do It: Clear your browser history and never ask for that password again. For a clean snip, refrain from texting them for a few months. You can do this.

And now? It's time to cut the cord with cords.

Sling TV gives you over 20 channels of live TV without any of the annoying cables for only $20 per month. No-hassle cancellation. No annual contract. No catch. No kidding. Get your free seven-day trial* here.

*Restrictions apply.