The bro-speak version of the TOS is surprisingly more readable than the original.
"We give lots of f*cks about your privacy, so we wrote this. Read it, so you know what the f*ck we’re going to do with the sh*t you post, so you’re not all 'Facebook, I had no idea!' when your sh*t is in our press releases. That way you know the deal when you’re deciding what to post."