1. Right. Walk past all the fresher's fair stalls and head straight for the free pizza. You got this.
2. Aw, cute, that fresher is making the same mistake I did last year. You're never going to go to 10 societies, kid. Put down the memberships.
3. I LOVE HAVING A LIVING ROOM.
4. I LOVE HAVING SPACE TO WALK AROUND.
5. I love all my housemates. We're all going to cook and clean together, and hang out all the time, and everything is perfect.
6. *two weeks later* This house is a damn travesty.
7. I am not buying toilet paper because I bought it the last two times.
8. Everyone definitely uses my toothpaste. And puts it back in the same place so I won't notice.
9. Well, guess what? I notice.
10. I'm basically the only thing holding this house together.
11. So I'm not putting out the bins today.
12. It should be illegal for a tutor to schedule a 9am on a Monday. Give me time to breathe, damn.
13. Just walk in normally. Act natural. You're only 15 minutes late.
14. Will this lecture be recorded?
15. Uh...why is everyone talking about their internships, already?
16. How am I already supposed to have a summer internship?! It's bloody November.
17. I thought the careers fairs were just for nabbing free pens.
18. Speaking of, that TFL pen I got is a game-changer. Multiple colours in one pen. My notes have never looked so good.
19. Oh cool, now everyone is talking about their career plans. Because they actually have career plans.
20. I'm going to cry.
21. I don't recognise these people anymore.
22. Maybe it's because degree marks actually count this year?
24. DEGREE MARKS ACTUALLY COUNT THIS YEAR.
25. So, second term just started, and I'm already broke.
26. Cheers, water bill. And electric. And rent.
27. So many bills I can't afford. Just let me live, TV license. God.
28. How can I stretch this £20 note to last two weeks?
29. Thank god for 50p energy drinks.
30. This phone in a bowl trick better work for my house party, because I seriously can't afford speakers.
31. I need everyone to hear how solid my playlist is.
32. Literally the best thing that could happen at my party is if someone complimented me on the playlist.
33. I should add "able to study when hungover" to my CV. A true talent.
34. Speaking of, I really should study for a few before tonight.
35. And by study I mean change into my PJs and binge-watch Love Island with Harriet.
36. My assignment is due tomorrow, and I haven't started, but it's totally fine because I've proven I work best under pressure.
37. Sweet, sweet pressure.
38. Oh crap, I just re-remembered that uni actually counts this year.
39. ...Just going to run to the library real quick.
40. Gross, there are tons of freshers in the library today.
41. This isn't a place for socialising, kids.
42. They're just taking up space actual hard-working students like myself need.
43. Seriously, get out and enjoy your stupidly easy lives with no responsibility. YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING IN THE LIBRARY.
44. I definitely took all that lack of work for granted.
45. Oh god, I'm jealous of freshers.
46. Oh standard, the book I need isn't in the library. The ONE copy is checked out.
47. WHY CAN MY UNI ONLY AFFORD ONE TEXTBOOK?!
48. I mean, what is my tuition even paying for?!
49. Guess I better order it online...
50. Oh, just a casual £45 for a textbook. Getting real tired of this. So many £££ textbooks I've used, like, once.
51. I just won't eat this week; it's cool.
52. *pulls chocolate bar out of bag* Nah, don't tell me I can't eat in the library. Not today, Steward. Not today.
53. Okay. Let's put these Google skills to the test.
54. Ninety per cent of my degree is done thanks to Google.
55. My tuition fee should really be going to Google.
56. YESSSSS! Just found an in-depth review of the textbook. Twenty pages long. I've found the Holy Grail.
57. Damn, the third years look really stressed.
58. Probably because of their dissertations. How many words it that again?
59. Oh, yeah. 12,000. Cool.
60. I don’t even know 12,000 words!
61. Breathe. Stop panicking about that. I won’t even get there if I don't write this assignment. Focus.
62. *reads a sentence* I deserve coffee now.
63. Wow, the new barista is so cute.
64. I JUST SAID "YOU TOO" WHEN THEY SAID "ENJOY YOUR COFFEE" THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE. WTF, SELF?
65. Slightly gutted they didn't give my drink for free, but, whatever, I'll work on it more later.
66. Thanks, cute Barista, for motivating my ass to actually stay in the library.
67. Okay, now it's time to work. *reads another sentence*
68. *checks phone* Oh, a text from Olivia.
69. Hmmm... I really shouldn't go to the SU bar right now. I really should continue reading for tomorrow.
70. *reads another sentence*
71. So if I get back to my room at 3am, that gives me two hours to read this article and make notes. And two hours to sleep before catching the bus for my 9am.
72. Screw it.
73. I always work better after a few shots, anyway.