Curvy Barbie, People. The Future Is Only Just In Front of Us.
Allow me to begin by cheering for a short moment.
So I'm not sure if you've heard, but Barbie has improved. She is here for all of us with a few more curves and and a few different frames.
As a child, I purposefully avoided Barbie. My parents had plumped me up to high-Heaven and genetics just weren't there for me. In the third grade, my doctor told me I was in the obese range. This was bad, I knew. But what the hell was Ibetter fashion choices, I got in my car at 11 pm and drove to Walmart, grabbing only a completely pink Barbie set and an outfit to along with it. Yes, I was ready to confront my fears and play with a Barbie.
My first thought was "Oh my God what if this happened to my feet?" Then, I rested her above my desk (sitting of course) and she's only collected dust since. I'm not sure if you understand yet how powerful this was to me. She was my WORST NIGHTMARE. She was just this evil thing that I, my entire life, strived to become. I only wanted to be this unrealistic standard of perfection, an impossible feat even. I know that kids know what's real and pretend and things, but you have no idea what a powerful imagination can do to a person. It's heartbreaking. I still have very little perception on what's real and what's imaginary.
Then, a few years later and only weeks ago, as I scrolled through my Instagram feed, I saw a picture of this curvy Barbie doll with blue hair and glasses and I freaked out. My only thoughts were "OH MY GOD THIS DOLL IS JUST LIKE ME!!! And it was, right down to the outfit, just like me. I was so excited. You have no idea.
So, I pre-ordered the doll. And you can bet that my bright pink Barbie will be headless and in the trash by the time she arrives. I'm so excited to be the new standard of perfection. I'm so excited to know that some little girl somewhere only wants to grow up to be just like me.
I know you think Barbie is so unrealistic that no little girl could ever mistake that for a real person. She's only plastic, right? Wrong. She is what every girl strives to be. And now, every girl has the opportunity to strive to be just like me. And I'm fucking excited.