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LGBT

70 Thoughts You Have When You Realize You're A Stereotypical Lesbian

"Stereotypes are the absolute worst, but this flannel is so comfy!"

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1. "I know there are a lot of stereotypes out there about being a lesbian, but come on. I'm just out here trying to live my authentic life."

2. Flannel shirts? Yeah, I have a few.

3. Do I have too many flannel shirts?

4. Flannels were our thing first! You can't take that away from me.

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5. If anything I could use more. They're comfy and warm. And awesome.

6. Just like beanies. Can't a girl enjoy the Fall weather?

7. Well, I do sometimes wear beanies when it's warmer out.

8. It's a convenient fix for bad hair days. It's a life hack. Wise up.

9. I won't wear one tonight, just to prove a point.

10. But it's cold. I'll bring it just in case.

11. Besides, I'm going to this Tegan and Sara concert for the music, not the potential girlfriends I could meet there.

12.There's no way I'm a walking stereotype. I'm an individual.

13. I mean, sure. I did go to an all-girls school.

14. But, those girls weren't all lesbians!

15. Believe me, I checked.

16. And I played softball in college for the camaraderie and pace of play — that's it.

17. I watch the U.S. Women's Soccer team for those same reasons.

18. Okay... okay, maybe a few other reasons.

19. And I play intramural sports in my spare time to make new friends... with women.

20. Shit.

21. [looks in mirror] I did originally cut my hair short to set myself apart, but now I just love it.

22. Is it a crime to have fantastic taste?

23. I do keep my nails short but only because it's comfortable.

24. That's a lie. Okay, that's a lie.

25. [reaches to put on shoes] Docs, Chucks, or Nike... CRAP!

26. Or I could wear a vest — they're both fashionable and practical.

27. LISTEN, I JUST LOOK GOOD IN THESE THINGS OKAY?! I'M DOING ME.

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28. Wow, I seriously shop in just the men's section a lot.

29. Everything just fits better in that section.

30. What, I'm supposed to wear a sweater that has holes in it? No, thanks.

31. Honestly, every girl should be shopping in the men's section! Feel the quality.

32. The day they make proper clothing for women, I'll go back to shopping in the women's section.

33. And the day snapbacks stop looking so good on me, I'll stop wearing those too.

34. Okay, now I have to feed the cats before I leave — poor babies will be hungry.

35. LISTEN TO YOURSELF, WOMAN!

36. I have a cat, sure. I didn't have enough room for a dog.

37. And then Pumpkin needed a buddy, and they both needed some company too.

38. No more cats. No more.

39. Sure, I have a Tumblr dedicated solely to the several lady fandoms I follow.

40. If anything that shows my dedication to the field and art of both cinema and television.

41. That Robyn mix tape isn't even mine!? IT WAS A GIFT!

42. So was that Ellen Page poster. I'll throw it away...

43. I'll throw it away tomorrow.

44. Who am I kidding? I'll have it framed tomorrow.

45. At least I don't own a box set of The L Word.

46. Though... I have watched it several times over.

47. BUT I can recognize it wasn't that good. It was just the only thing out there at the time!

48. Besides, I just watched it for Shane.

49. Ah, crap.

50. I watch Orange is The New Black because it's a fantastic and well-written piece of television.

51. Okay. I watched it for Poussey and Poussey alone.

52. I was watching Orphan Black from. The. Beginning. No bandwagon lesbian television jumping for me.

53. Do I have an entire Tumblr dedicated to Cosima?

54. That is completely irrelevant.

55. Luckily I've pretty much completely avoided the straight girl disaster when it comes to dating. Well, besides that incident with "She who must not be named."

56. Fuck you, Lara. She still has my custom-made "Cosima is bae" t-shirt.

57. At least I learned my lesson, I'll never go down that road again.

58. But, who's to say.

59. And friends with exes? Not all lesbians do that!

60. I'm only still in touch with with my very first girlfriend.

61. In no way, shape, or form do I have "feelings" for her though.

62. Like, if she wanted to give it another go I would shut that down.

63. I'm not waiting for her or anything.

64. THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS. IT'S FINE.

65. Okay I can't check all these stupid stereotypical boxes. THINK!

66. AHA! I hate Home Depot. I have never even been in a Home Depot.

67. Okay, so I fit in a few boxes. Who doesn't?

68. [grabs Subaru keys] Wow, I am a huge lesbian.

69. Damn straight I am.

70. No pun intended.

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