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Definitive Proof That Sia Is The Queen To Rule Us All

"I am sia, I was born from the bumhole of a unicorn named steve."

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I cannot confirm, nor deny, that this Australian songstress emerged from a mythical creature's backside.

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Apparently, she was really discovered in an Italian karaoke bar. "I got up and sang at this karaoke bar in Italy. I didn't like any of the songs they had so I just got them to clap their hands and sang "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers," she recalls.


Her voice not only lifts your soul, but her lyrics lift you onto a higher plane of being. If "breathe me" doesn't reduce you to tears, nothing will.

When you listen to the otherworldly grace that is a Sia jam, it pulls you in slowly – her voice caressing each and every sultry note.



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It apparently took her genius unicorn mind only 14 minutes to bang out "Diamonds" and 40 minutes to write the smash hit "Titanium." IMAGINE WHAT SHE COULD DO WITH A FULL HOUR!.


She compared the constant criticism and judgement from the public to an overbearing mother-in-law:

Imagine the stereotypical highly opinionated, completely uninformed mother-in-law character and apply it to every teenager with a computer in the entire world. Then add in all bored people, as well as people whose job it is to report on celebrities. Then, picture that creature, that force, criticizing you for an hour straight once a day, every day, day after day.

I mean, it takes brass balls to perform on Ellen with your back turned to the audience. She has brass balls.

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Let's end with our queen singing "Diamonds" in all her glory. Feel free to close your eyes and be carried away to a world where Sia is responsible for every song you love.

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We're already there.


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