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    19 Things Asexual People Need You To Understand About Asexuality

    "It's kinda like going to museums or something — I don't get much out of it but it doesn't really bother me either."

    Asexuality is easily one of the most consistently misunderstood identities.

    So we asked people from the BuzzFeed Community who identify somewhere on the ace spectrum to tell it like it is — what do they want people to understand about being asexual?

    Here's what they had to share.

    1. "It can be extremely isolating because of society's obsession with sex."

    2. "You're still a valid asexual regardless of whether you've had sex in the past or not."

    3. "An asexual person can still be romantically attracted to someone and fall in love."

    "Asexuality and aromanticism don't go hand in hand. An asexual person can be romantically attracted to someone and fall in love. Asexuality isn't the same as celibacy! Asexual people aren't naive, picky or children."

    — Anonymous/17/Queer

    4. "It's kinda like going to museums or something — I don't get much out of it, but it doesn't really bother me either."

    5. "Some ace people are sex-repulsed, some are sex-positive."

    6. "I wish I would have known about asexuality when I was a teenager. I wouldn't have felt like something was horribly wrong with me for over a decade."

    "I always assumed that when I started having sex I would change and I would be 'fixed.' After an eight-year relationship, I didn't feel any different. I thought it was just my ex, so I tried having sex with another man. When nothing changed I thought maybe I wasn't attracted to men. I had sex with a woman. Still, nothing changed. I wish I would have known about asexuality when I was a teenager. I wouldn't have felt like something was horribly wrong with me for over a decade."

    —Chelsea/29/Asexual

    7. "I am not broken. I haven't been sexually abused. My hormones are fine, thank you."

    8. "Also, I don't reproduce by budding like a sponge."

    9. "There are many ways to be attracted to a person other than sexually (romantically, intellectually, physically), and looking at those is very helpful to understanding how all of us (not just asexuals) experience relationships."

    "It's not as much about how our bodies work (libido) as it is about how and when we are attracted to other people. There are many ways to be attracted to a person other than sexually (romantically, intellectually, physically), and looking at those is very helpful to understanding how all of us (not just asexuals) experience relationships."

    —Limor/25/Demisexual

    10. "Just because you aren't attracted to people doesn't mean you never want to have sex."

    11. "It doesn't mean I can't appreciate attractive people or find someone attractive."

    12. "It's not a choice. And it's not necessarily something I'm proud of either."

    —Cat/19/Ace

    13. "It's about attraction, not action."

    14. "It's absolutely none of your business to judge another person's sexuality or its validity."

    15. "Love can be as simple as wanting to be near someone else. To hold their hand, to see their eyes light up when they laugh."

    "Whether you like men, women, or those who are nonbinary/genderqueer, loving another human being does NOT have to mean that you want to 'bang' them. Love can be as simple as wanting to be near someone else. To hold their hand, to see their eyes light up when they laugh. Love is expressed in countless ways, not just through sex."

    —Dustin/21/Aromantic

    16. "Just because I don't feel sexual attraction doesn't mean I don't love my partner."

    17. "We think of sex as a normal thing every human being will naturally want, desire, and have — but it's really not the case."

    18. "It's not a mental illness."

    "It's not a mental illness. It *is* a marginalized identity, and that marginalization extends to the queer community sometimes."

    —Anonymous/32/Grey-romantic

    19. "Asexuals also face discrimination and hate in both the LGBT community and outside of it."

    Responses have been lightly edited for length and clarity

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