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    Updated on Aug 31, 2020. Posted on Oct 22, 2015

    We Asked A Bunch Of Married Lesbian Couples: How Did You Pop The Question?

    Spoiler alert: Everyone said yes.

    Yazzik / Getty Images

    As a lady who dates other ladies, one of the most common (and surprising) relationship questions I'm asked is "Who proposes?" Of course — assuming you want to get married — there are no rules or script. That's precisely what makes it all so much fun! We asked queer couples to share their own proposal stories to see how they each made this age-old tradition their own. After all, everyone loves a good proposal story.

    1. Christina and Lauren

    Lauren still remembers the very first time she saw her future wife, Christina, at the University of Houston. "I saw this bubbly, beautiful, curly-headed brown girl in a long coral peasant skirt and glasses flitting about the room. I didn't know who she was, I just knew I wanted to be near her," Lauren told BuzzFeed.

    For Christina, the meeting was just as memorable. "It was just like when Beyoncé shows up on stage before she begins a performance where everything around you goes silent and all you can see is her."

    Popping the question:

    For their fifth anniversary, the couple decided to celebrate with a special photo shoot. Lauren had no clue that during the session Christina planned to pop the question. "I wanted to promise to Lauren I would strive to be a better partner every day. It was a natural progression in our relationship and I wanted her to have a symbol of my promise."

    "I was so nervous I didn't tell anyone I was proposing — not even my mom," said Christina. "On my way to the photo shoot, I had to pull over on the highway to call and ask for my mom's blessing." With mother's approval — and a shot of whiskey from her flask — Christina was ready for the big moment.

    Lauren described the moment from her perspective:

    "Toward the end of the photo shoot, Christina pulled out a present. I immediately began to scold her for breaking the rules and getting me another present. Besides, I didn't get her anything! So, disgruntled, I opened the box, and there was another smaller box inside. That's when she started to propose. I was like, 'Wait, what?! What are you saying? What does this mean?' Then, of course, I started crying. She actually stopped mid-proposal to hold my hand and kiss my cheek. I'm so lucky to be marrying my best friend."

    2. Lauren and Andie

    Lauren and Andie first met when they joined the same radical street band in Brooklyn. Lauren played the sax and Andie danced. After nine months of avoiding eye contact, Andie eventually told a mutual friend she thought Lauren was hot. Lauren said "I love you" on their sixth date.

    Popping the question:

    "We always knew there would be a double proposal, but hetero gender stereotypes falsely led Lauren to assume that her butch-self would be first to propose," the couple told BuzzFeed. Andie ended up getting the jump on Lauren and proposed during a "very financially irresponsible" trip to Spain. The proposal itself went horribly wrong and involved canceled hotel reservations, an onslaught of rain, surprise periods, tragic leg wounds, and no vegetarian food for the two vegetarians.

    "We want to go through the motions of ritualizing the importance of this relationship but hated saying that 'marriage,' in its contemporary essence, was the way to do that," added Andie. "So we found language that felt right and then Lauren prepped her proposal a few months later."

    Lauren's proposal took place at the Hope Outdoor Gallery in Austin, where the couple lives. Andie was under the assumption they were off to get an oil change while Lauren subtly shaved a diamond ring into her head at the last minute. Andie said yes, and the night continued with "friends from out of town, pink limos, a queer dance party, and some sloppy drinking."

    Next summer the newly engaged duo are having a "talent show wedding" at Lauren's alma matter, Mills College. "We have built our social relationships on our love of making our friends perform for us. Why would our wedding be any different?"

    3. Christina and Kellie

    Kellie approached Christina in a Philly night club nine years ago. After a night of dancing and an exchange of numbers, the rest is history. "We've been in each other's lives ever since," said Christina.

    Popping the question:

    Kellie planned a surprise proposal on Christina's 27th birthday. She would ask during a birthday brunch with all their closest friends and family in attendance.

    "I prepared a few party games and one involved a short story I wrote where everyone picked a line from a hat and as the lines were read, if you heard yours you'd go stand by the gift bag, replacing the previous person. The last person standing by the gift bag won," said Christina. She didn't think anything was going on when Kellie handed her a line as the game began.

    "When the story stopped at me I was surprised by how quickly everyone tried to give the bag away! Everyone shouted 'Look in the bag!'" Inside the box was a note that Christina was instructed to read aloud — and a small box. "To be honest, all I remember reading was the word 'wife' and I freaked out! [Kellie] got on her knee and asked me to marry her and of course I said yes!" said Christina.

    "She even had a videographer who totally tricked me into thinking she was just taking pictures! I love being able to watch it over and over again."

    Courtesy of the couple

    4. Elizabeth and Natasha

    Natasha and Liz circled in the same group of friends for nearly 15 years before finally being introduced in 2011. "I like to tell people that we fell for one another over our mutual passion for music," Liz told BuzzFeed.

    Popping the question:

    A former mariachi performer, Natasha planned to serenade Liz — in full mariachi attire — at a friend's BBQ. "There in front of all of our closest friends and family they played our favorite song, 'Si Nos Dejan,'" said Liz. She added that the song title translates to "If They Let Us," a slightly ironic choice. Natasha would later admit that out of the hundreds of times she had performed the song, this was the only time she was so nervous she wasn't able to play her guitar.

    "Instead, she immediately put her guitar down and pulled out a box with the ring and asked me to marry her," said Liz.

    Liz had originally planned to propose that same month, but when Natasha beat her to it she pushed her plans back a few weeks to keep the element of surprise. Liz's proposal was the exact opposite of her girlfriend's Mariachi proposal — a small, intimate moment before bed.

    "We were laying in bed talking about our perfect wedding dreams. I stopped mid sentence and reached into my nightstand and opened the box containing her ring. The little light in the box literally Iit up the room and all I could see was her gorgeous smile."

    5. Alli and Jess

    Alli and Jess met at a local bar while Jess was celebrating her birthday. "I had actually seen her at a different bar earlier in the night, but didn't say or do anything," Alli told BuzzFeed. "When we did finally meet, we exchanged numbers. Two days later we had our first date on Jess's actual birthday." That was over five years ago, but just three weeks ago the couple tied the knot in Columbus.

    Popping the question:

    The proposal itself took place at a friend's house during "game night" in November 2014. Jess was the one to ask. "Unbeknownst to me, she had gone to a special jeweler to have my ring custom-made using photos provided by my mom of my great-grandmother's ring," Alli explained.

    Courtesy of the couple

    After a few rounds of charades, a two-player topic came up and Jess pulled her girlfriend up to participate. "She got down on one knee and I thought it was a joke," noted Alli, who happily said yes once she realized what was going on. "I was completely surprised. I did not propose back, but we did go out and get her a ring that would also double as her wedding band."

    6. Heather and Sandy

    Heather and Sandy graduated from high school in the same class, but never knew the other existed. "We still joke to this day that she actually knew who I was because I played sports, however I had no idea who she was," explained Sandy.

    They would meet 10 years later at a happy hour. "Heather and I hit it off and we ended up spending the entire night talking and before you know it everyone had left and we were the only ones left, chatting and playing darts together." The couple now lives in Laurel, Maryland, the same town they went to high school in.

    Popping the question:

    "When I knew that Heather was the one I wanted to spend my life with, I knew exactly how I wanted to propose to her," said Sandy. "I'm a huge picture person. I feel as though you can relive a moment in time when simply looking at a picture. I never wanted to forget the look on her face when I asked her to be my wife and I felt the only way to capture that look was to have a picture of it."

    Sandy got in touch with a photographer and came up with the plan: a Valentine's Day photo session scheduled exactly three years after the day they first met.

    Heather didn't see anything coming. "We knew we were ready for that step in our relationship. However, once I was ready to pop the question I stopped talking to her about it so that she wouldn't get suspicious," said Sandy. And there was no "proposing back" either. "Once I proposed we looked at it as if we were engaged; it didn't matter who proposed. We were ready for the next adventure in our life together and started to plan our wedding."

    7. Shoshana and Meredith

    Courtesy of the couple

    Shoshana (who is British) and Meredith (who is American) were both living in New York City when they started dabbling in online dating. Meredith sent the initial message over OkCupid but, to her disappointment, never heard back. A few weeks later, as if by fate, they bumped into each other at a bar. "What can I say, I love a woman with an accent," said Meredith.

    Popping the question:

    "I always thought I would be the one in the relationship to pop the question, but she beat me to it," said Meredith of the evening Shoshana proposed. Meredith was under the impression it was just another date night in London. "Little did I know that Shoshana had coordinated with the restaurant and wrote an extra special Specials Menu where she asked me to marry her."

    FYI: They have a very beautiful wedding video.

    Courtesy of the couple

    8. LeAnn and Kylee

    LeAnn and Kylee met just as Kylee was looking to leave home in Indianapolis and explore San Francisco — she even had a few interviews lined up. "I didn't think what I was looking for in a woman was in Indiana," Kylee explained. But the more they hung out, the more the two women realized there was something real between them. "LeAnn and her son moved in after us dating for six months and we started our life as a family together."

    Popping the question:

    Kylee was the one to take action a little over a year into their relationship. "With LeAnn being the most romantic person on the planet, I knew I had to do something special for our day." Kylee planned to ask on their one-year anniversary over dinner at their favorite restaurant. For dessert the waiter brought out an old card LeAnn had written for Kylee, telling her all the reasons she loved her.

    Cohen, LeAnn's son, was also in on the surprise. "Cohen walked up to the table with a shirt I had made that said 'say yes' and brought the ring over to the table for me."

    courtesy of the couple / Via

    LeAnn also wanted to do something special for Kylee — her own proposal. Kylee remembers the special night from her perspective:

    "We live in front of a beautiful wooded area with trails. After taking her to dinner we went on a walk in the woods. We came up to a candlelit path where one of my best friends was playing my favorite song on the guitar, 'All of Me' by John Legend. You would have thought this was our first engagement with how emotional I was."

    9. Ashtin and Theresa

    Courtesy of the couple

    Ashtin and Theresa met the usual way, as X-ray technologists in British Colombia. OK, maybe not so usual. Early on in their relationship, Ashtin made it clear that Theresa was not allowed to propose because, well, she wanted to be the one to do it. "Somewhere along the line she let it slip that she thought it would be cool if I were the one to propose," Theresa explained.

    Popping the question:

    Theresa prepped for the big moment with a little help from Pinterest, creating a board with ideas to be included on it. She laid out a plan to propose to her girlfriend after a romantic stroll that would end with a dock picnic overlooking the lake in Prince George. Everything was perfect. Everything went wrong.

    "It was so miserable outside that I couldn't just suggest a walk in the forest. I can't say, 'Hey, I know it's raining sideways but wanna go for a walk?'" Yet, somehow, Theresa convinced her girlfriend to play along.

    Courtesy Ashtin and Theresa
    The pinterest planning board

    "I remember saying, 'Theresa, I am loving you a little less with every step right now,'" Ashtin told BuzzFeed. With the wind and rain howling, Theresa just barely managed to get the question out. "I asked for both of her hands and said, 'I love you more than anything, and I would love to spend the rest of my life with you.' I got down on one knee and said 'Will you marry me?'" Ashtin said yes.

    "In the beginning it seemed like the whole day was a mess and would never end the way I had imagined, but it turned out to be a fantastic story," said Theresa. "The chaos of it is so very much us. I'm not sure why I imagined everything would go smoothly."

    courtesy of the couple

    10. Charlyn and Emily

    The first time Charlyn and Emily met, it was only because Charlyn sat in the wrong section of their Class of 2009 freshman photo — right next to Emily. They would later join the same sorority and continue to have small instances of being in the right place at the right time. "It was almost as if these paths were paved to bring our relationship closer and stronger," said Charlyn.

    Popping the question:

    Both of them planned to propose to each other on a trip to Disneyland. A close friend played along, hiding both the rings and not alerting the couple to what was really going on.

    We asked both Emily and Charlyn to describe their respective proposals:

    Emily: "I decided to get a caricature drawn of us before the big question. Afterwards, I spotted an outdoor bar right in the center of Downtown Disney. She ordered a beer, and of course, to calm my nerves, I ordered a mixed beverage. She was confessing how happy she was that I was there with her family that she wanted to capture the moment, so she reached around for her phone and snapped a photo of us. Immediately after, I distracted her attention towards the vines going up a light fixture so that she would turn away and at that exact second…I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring box. I was able to open it and set it down right in front of her before she turned around, As soon as she saw it her mouth dropped — she was speechless. My heart was racing, but I did it, and now I have the perfect fiancé. Afterwards, we just had to get a caricature as a newly engaged couple."

    Charlyn: "I wanted the proposal to go along with Disney, and the Disney movie Up had meaning to us both. Once I decided to make our own version, everything fell into its place. I did research, and figured that I wanted to propose during the California Adventure water show, "World of Color," during the Up scene — the timing had to be perfect. Before our trip, I created a journal that holds every true feeling I have for her, and with leather strings, I intertwined the ring so that it held as a bookmark to where it's written, 'Marry me.' I held our 'Adventure Book,' for what felt like an eternity. As soon as the piano started to play the Up tune and balloons started to appear, I turned around and handed her the book. I kept it hidden inside my sweatshirt the entire show up until then. I told her that she was the one I wanted to spend my life with and that I couldn't wait to start our own adventure together. With Aladdin's 'A Whole New World' in the background, we held each other, crying, as the happiest couple in the entire world. We both had rings now, and the rest of our vacation was bliss!"


    Got a proposal story to top these? Share in the comments below.