If you're here, it's probably because you've already finished Season 5 of Orange Is the New Black.
When the theme song kicked in on that first episode you were READY...
...until you remembered that Poussey is no longer with us:
Regardless, you gave in and binged the whole damn season:
Because you'll never learn.
Oprah: Did you binge watch all of Orange is the New Black in less than 24 hours? Me:
And honestly, where to even begin? The season may have taken place over only a few days, but it packed in a 👏 lifetime 👏 of 👏 drama.
Here's the quick version...
But let's dive deeper into the roller coaster of emotions, shall we?
1. The show opens with Daya straight up shooting a guard, and the riot that follows quickly gets way out of hand:
2. You quickly realize this may just be the darkest season of the show:
And, you were correct.
3. But (thank goodness) there were a ton of laughs to ease the tension:
So you could stop clenching your covers for two seconds.
4. And some ~relatable~ moments:
When your inner hoe comes out at the club and your friends are just onlooking in shame.... #OITNB
5. Suzanne continued to bestow her wisdom on everyone:
6. OK, wait — everyone was dropping wisdom:
7. Seriously, there were too many fantastic one-liners to list them all.
8. Midway through the season, you realized Frieda is the first person you're running to when the apocalypse happens:
9. While Caputo and those cops are the last dudes you'd ask to help you with your math homework:
Something doesn't add up.
10. You were SHOOKETH to learn that the actor who plays young Daya during those flashbacks was not a clone, but her daughter IRL.
11. Piscatella's backstory was finally revealed...and you weren't quite sure what to feel:
12. But you were thankful for the banger that is "Hot Cheetos and Takis":
13. Piper and Alex heard wedding bells, and you either squealed with joy...
14. ...or continued living your life:
15. And Taystee?
She did that. She did that all season long.
16. And there were scenes that made your heart break:
17. Like Soso's beautiful homage to Poussey being ripped down as the guards finally busted in.
18. Or, you know, the entire last episode:
Me during the last episode of #OITNB
19. And if you weren't sobbing already, the final Flaritza scene turned up the waterworks:
20. If you were holding it together, this is the point where you probably lost it:
21. And because last season ended on such a dramatic cliff-hanger, you felt confident there would be just no way they'd do that again — OH MY GOD.
22. You were left with questions, but there is nobody to give you answers:
23. Like, where are they taking the inmates? Did Chang straight up escape? Are they going to find Pennsatucky? Who will get the blame for killing Piscatella? WE HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER YEAR FOR THIS ALL OVER AGAIN!?
24. But frankly, should you have expected anything different from this show?
25. Anyway, see you next year. Same time, same place.
This is a spoiler-safe zone, so dish about your favorite (or least favorite) moments from the season in the comments below!
