Skip To Content
  • Yaaass badge

28 Stages Every Baby Gay Goes Through

I'm here, I'm queer, and I have no idea what I'm doing.

First of all, being a baby gay has nothing to do with age or specific orientation. It's a state of being.

Baby Gay: An individual who is new, or newly out, to the LGBT community – regardless of age – and most likely completely inexperienced in the ways of absolutely everything.

It's that magical time after you've come out to yourself, and probably your loved ones as well – where you feel reborn and ready to conquer the new world that has opened its doors to you!

Only problem? You're completely clueless.

1. In fact, you have no idea just how much you don't know.

2. You just got used to saying the word out loud, now you have to go BE it? / Via Netflix

Or worse, no labels feel quite right and you're struggling for a word to use at all.

3. It feels as if a pop quiz is about to dropped on you at any moment, and of course you're painfully unprepared.

4. You find yourself googling things in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.

5. You soon realize that maybe an internet search is not always the best place to find answers.

Nope, not helpful at all.

6. You find yourself getting weepy at Pride events. WHY IS YOUR FACE WET?

It's just a parade, right? Calm yourself! But... it's so beautiful.

7. The combination of anxiety and excitement is overwhelming.

8. You're not sure where exactly you fit in – do you have to choose?

9. Your gaydar isn't just out of whack, it's nonexistent.

10. It's as if as soon as you're ready to be out there, nobody can see you!

And if they can see you... then what?

11. You go to great lengths to be more visible, even if that means you aren't really being yourself.

It's OK, you'll find a balance soon.

12. When you finally get to a gay bar, you feel as if everyone knows it's your first time.

13. You stress over saying the right thing.


14. You're excited and ready to explore. OK, maybe a little too excited...

... and maybe you come on a little strong.

15. You check the mail every day, but no manual on flirting has arrived yet. You fear it never will.

16. The lack of social script is freaking you out.

On the bright side, this makes things way more interesting. Right? Right?!

17. Are you supposed to buy a drink for someone else or just stand here until someone buys you one?

18. Odds are, you get completely wasted and make a fool of yourself.

19. You try out online dating, figuring that will be a low-stress way to meet new people.

"Only into masc, musc white guys. Pics required to chat." Oh? Nah.

20. When you finally get asked out by someone? It's just another wave of fresh anxiety.

"But...YES, YES I will go out with you!"

21. Even just the thought of finally doing something with someone... is a lot.

22. Every teeny tiny milestone feels like you've conquered the world.


23. Who knows what the bedroom rules are. WHO EVEN KNOWS!?

24. Sometimes you feel like you'll be the most awkward human being forever and ever.

25. That's when you remember you aren't alone. A lot of people go through this same rollercoaster of emotions at one time or another.

26. Once you realize this, your anxieties start to melt away.

27. And eventually – probably without even really trying – you are doing all these things and it's all happening.

28. If you think about it, being new to the scene is actually a wonderful and exciting time.

Get out there and LIVE it.