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    12 Ways Lesbians Can Respond To: "Who's The Man In The Relationship?"

    Shhhh, please no.

    If there is one question that lesbian couples really don't have time for anymore, it's this one:

    (Feel free to substitute in "man," "dude," "husband," etc.)

    Here are a few simple responses to shut the question down:

    1. (Audibly gasp and turn to your partner) "Are you a man? I thought I was gay?!"

    Dissolve into a fight until the questioning party moves away.

    2. "Usually we just do rock-paper-scissors for it. Today I lost."

    You caught me. I'm the man today.

    3. "You mean who wears the pants? We prefer it when neither of us wear them."

    Complete with a sly wink as you walk away. You can thank Wanda Sykes for this quip.

    4. Don't even let them finish their question.

    A quick interruption of, "Shhhhhh. No," usually works, and then back away slowly.

    5. Give "the look" to stop the conversation right there.

    6. Whip out the dictionary and give them a quick vocabulary lesson:

    7. Flip it.

    8. Explain that there must be some sort of mistake:

    9. "That's like asking which chopstick is the fork, you realize that – right?"

    Speak slowly and clearly – you are about to teach them a very big lesson.

    10. Or: "So, which part of this salad is the pork chop?"

    Ashlae W/Ashlae W

    Don't you know we're all vegetarians?

    11. "Oh, no. You've misunderstood. We're actually both beans."


    Laugh maniacally in their faces before going about your business.

    12. Quickly explain that following the rules of a gender binary is incredibly dull and predictable before RIDING AWAY ON YOUR STALLION.

    That's how it's done.