Skip To Content

    12 Ways Lesbians Can Respond To: "Who's The Man In The Relationship?"

    Shhhh, please no.

    If there is one question that lesbian couples really don't have time for anymore, it's this one:

    (Feel free to substitute in "man," "dude," "husband," etc.)

    Here are a few simple responses to shut the question down:

    1. (Audibly gasp and turn to your partner) "Are you a man? I thought I was gay?!"

    survivingcollege.com

    Dissolve into a fight until the questioning party moves away.

    2. "Usually we just do rock-paper-scissors for it. Today I lost."

    themidnightalliance.wordpress.com

    You caught me. I'm the man today.

    3. "You mean who wears the pants? We prefer it when neither of us wear them."

    queerproblems.com

    Complete with a sly wink as you walk away. You can thank Wanda Sykes for this quip.

    4. Don't even let them finish their question.

    fuckyeah-katyperry.tumblr.com

    A quick interruption of, "Shhhhhh. No," usually works, and then back away slowly.

    5. Give "the look" to stop the conversation right there.

    6. Whip out the dictionary and give them a quick vocabulary lesson:

    7. Flip it.

    8. Explain that there must be some sort of mistake:

    9. "That's like asking which chopstick is the fork, you realize that – right?"

    lesbian-geek.tumblr.com

    Speak slowly and clearly – you are about to teach them a very big lesson.

    10. Or: "So, which part of this salad is the pork chop?"

    Ashlae W/Ashlae W

    Don't you know we're all vegetarians?

    11. "Oh, no. You've misunderstood. We're actually both beans."

    TonyBaggett/TonyBaggett

    Laugh maniacally in their faces before going about your business.

    12. Quickly explain that following the rules of a gender binary is incredibly dull and predictable before RIDING AWAY ON YOUR STALLION.

    That's how it's done.