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Taxis will regularly pull up the second I exit my apartment building
If I ever get mugged, my shoes will be the first thing to go
Post-it notes are a “get out of jail free card” if caught smoking pot in plain sight of a police officer
And a female police officer will support my emotional attempts to vandalize public property
Alcohol + lunch with an ex = good idea
Sleeping with a new man every week is normal, safe… and totally awesome
Ugly sex is hot
People I don't want to see are lurking around every New York City corner
Writing this one column will allow me to buy $790 shoes
One night stands turn into relationships
I can have my cake and eat it too
My boyfriend and I can share glasses
Vivienne Westwood will spontaneously messenger over my wedding dress for free
If a man breaks up with me three times, marries someone else, has an affair, then stands me up at the altar… eventually he’ll do a 180, put a shoe on my foot, and become “the one”
Miley Cyrus is just a mini-Samantha Jones
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