1.
You've probably heard that everything in Australia is trying to kill you.
2.
Always has been, and always will be.
4.
...to the electrics...
5.
...to the shit lurking under your bonnet.
7.
(THOUGH FUCK THE ELECTRICS TBH)
8.
A nation where spiders take on snakes – and win.
9.
Pretty much every day.
10.
Where you're always assured of a warm welcome.
11.
Particularly if you're a foreign invader.
12.
And you'll never have to poop alone.
13.
A nation where the neighbours are real friendly.
14.
A nation where you should always STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
17.
Crocodiles. Stingers. Sharks. Everything you could want from a beach right?
18.
Take the dolphin's advice: stay out of the water.
19.
Need any more persuasion?!
21.
Australia! A nation where your best hope of survival is praying that something big will eat the thing trying to eat you – before you get eaten.
22.
Or get distracted by something more interesting.
23.
A wonderful nation that strikes fear in your heart the moment you step outside.
25.
You don't want to be blown away.
26.
Australia! A nation whose road hazards include gigantic dinosaurlike birds.
28.
And people driving without steering wheels.
29.
A nation grappling with biosecurity issues.
30.
Where some residents take signs too literally.
32.
Where this is a local delicacy.
35.
A land where kangaroos can fall from the sky.
36.
But ultimately, a nation where everyone knows their place.
AUSTRALIA, BATSHIT INSANIA!
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