1. You've probably heard that everything in Australia is trying to kill you.
Channel Nine
2. Always has been, and always will be.
3. From the weather...
Brett Martin / Via Facebook: perthweatherlive
4. ...to the electrics...
Advertisement
5. ...to the shit lurking under your bonnet.
6. Nothing is safe – not even your kitchen tongs!
Adelaide University
7. (THOUGH FUCK THE ELECTRICS TBH)
8. A nation where spiders take on snakes – and win.
Advertisement
9. Pretty much every day.
10. Where you're always assured of a warm welcome.
George Helon / Via thechronicle.com.au
11. Particularly if you're a foreign invader.
12. And you'll never have to poop alone.
Advertisement
13. A nation where the neighbours are real friendly.
Eupen Hjalmby / Via Twitter: @GCBulletin
14. A nation where you should always STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
15. Seriously?!
16. Ooof.
Advertisement
17. Crocodiles. Stingers. Sharks. Everything you could want from a beach right?
18. Take the dolphin's advice: stay out of the water.
19. Need any more persuasion?!
SEFTIA / Via abc.net.au
20. Nope?!
SEFTIA / Via abc.net.au
Advertisement
21. Australia! A nation where your best hope of survival is praying that something big will eat the thing trying to eat you – before you get eaten.
Tiffany Corlis / Barcroft
22. Or get distracted by something more interesting.
23. A wonderful nation that strikes fear in your heart the moment you step outside.
24. Seriously, do yourself a favour – do not go outside.
Advertisement
25. You don't want to be blown away.
Getty Images
26. Australia! A nation whose road hazards include gigantic dinosaurlike birds.
27. Joyriding koalas.
Sam Box / Via 9news.com.au
28. And people driving without steering wheels.
South Australia Police / Via abc.net.au
Advertisement
29. A nation grappling with biosecurity issues.
30. Where some residents take signs too literally.
32. Where this is a local delicacy.
Advertisement
33. A land of such extremes that last year hundreds of bats dropped dead during a heatwave.
34. A land so vast that a sheep can stroll around like this for five years and no one will notice.
Tammy Ven Dange / Via abc.net.au
35. A land where kangaroos can fall from the sky.
36. But ultimately, a nation where everyone knows their place.
37. And fits right in.
AUSTRALIA, BATSHIT INSANIA!
Channel Nine
