1. How many signs does one shop need?
2. Fuck, haven't been book shopping in ages.
3. Wow. Have bookshops always been this huge?
4. Okay, bit overwhelmed. Choices!
5. Going to start here with Best Sellers.
6. Shit, colouring books are popular.
7. Three in the top five!
8. Does no one have time to read anymore?
9. Who is Chris Judd?
10. OMG, there are so many Mr Men & Little Miss Books!
11. 46 Men and 33 Little Misses!!!!!!!!!!
12. Why are the men Men and the women Little Misses?!
13. Wait, Harper Lee has a book out. When did that happen?!
14. Wow. Colouring books. So many colouring books.
15. Does no one have time to read anymore?
16. Amazing. JK Rowling still dominates kids bestsellers.
17. Matilda! The Very Hungry Caterpillar! Where The Wild Things Are! I've read some of these books!
18. Wow. There are so many classics.
19. I'm never going to be able to read all these books.
20. Even if I spent the rest of my life reading.
21. How does anyone find time to read nowadays anyway?
22. Penguin Classics. Wow. So many Penguin Classics.
23. They sure are pretty.
24. This shop is full of thousands of books: yet these all look the same.
25. Never judge a book by its cover right?
26. (Although Penguin covers sure are pretty)
27. Don't mess with a classic right?
28. What is it about bookshops that gets me thinking in idioms?
29. But seriously. There are so many Penguin Classics.
30. 3 for $20? Can they even make money on that?
31. Maybe I'll go for a modern novel.
32. Fiction is easier to read right?
33. But what? There are 300,000 titles here!!!!
34. I'll start at A.
35. Here we go: wait, wut. Someone has slipped in Rich Kids of Instagram at the front. A novel with a Benjamin Franklin and embossed line of cocaine on the cover. People are weird.
36. Ok: Susan Abulhawa?
37. Or maybe Jeffrey Archer?
38. Actually, teenage me read a load of Jeffrey Archer.
39. While he was a Conservative Minister.
40. Before he went to jail.
41. It's okay. No one can hear my thoughts.
42. Wow. Jodi Picoult is popular.
43. How does one person write so much?
44. I could never be a novelist.
45. Ooooooh look at all the reading accessories!
46. A book light. That would be useful for reading in bed.
47. Nothing worse than having to get out of bed to turn out the light.
48. Wilbur Smith?! OMG, weird flashbacks. I really read a lot of shit when I was young.
49. Blaming you Dad. Mum always had more esoteric tastes.
50. Teenage me really did read a lot though. How did I have so much time?
51. Help. I need some help!
52. Ah, here we go: "Our Staff Love"
53. Help me Dymocks staff...
54. What you got Bert? "Love him or loathe him, there is no doubting that Christian Grey is a charismatic devil. An entertaining way to kill a few hours." Hmmmm.
55. Maybe fiction is a bad idea. What about autobiography?
56. Russell Brand? "He's obviously matured and become really focused. Best of all, he's still hilarious." Hmmmm. Well, I do like Rusty.
57. Jeremy Clarkson? "Love him or hate him, he is just a riot. Irreverent and hilarious." Ah, nope. Still hate him. Next?!
58. Lena Dunham? "I didn't expect this to be so amazingly good! Intelligent, insightful, honest with lots of tweet sound bites :-)" My kind of review, thanks Jane!
59. Wow, bookstore staff really are the best aren't they?
60. Still, no closer to choosing something.
61. Holy shit, this place goes back forever.
62. What's that at the back?
63. A bloody massive ABC Centre!
64. And SBS have an outpost here too.
65. Does anyone still watch DVDs?
66. Man, remember when DVDs were the future?
67. I'm guessing books will be around a lot longer than DVDs.
68. Shit, there's a whole room of puzzles back here too.
69. And an intriguing, unstaffed Special Order section.
70. Which basically seems to be packed with soft Daleks, Tardis and obscure Lego Architecture models. Wow, Dymnocks do a lot more than books!
71. Fuck! 2016 calendars already.
72. How many Bichon Frise calendars do they sell?!
73. This entire section is stationary.
74. So much stationary!!!!
75. That must be every single Post-it note product on Earth!
76. More pens and Moleskine diaries than any person could ever need.
77. Cards! Postcards! Wrapping paper! Too much, I came here to buy a book.
78. Righto, upstairs. Left for Architecture, Art, Business, Computers, Finance, Health, History, Management, Photography, Religion, Sport. This is too much.
79. Left for Cafe, Cooking, DIY, Gardening, Languages, Maps, Travel. Well I like eating...
80. Holy shit, seems everyone else likes eating too.
81. There. Are. So. Many. Cookbooks.
82. How does anyone have time to cook?!
83. You're not expected to read them though right?
84. Goddamn, Australian Women's Weekly is a cook book factory!
85. There are cookbooks here from every country on Earth.
86. How does everyone have so much time to cook?
87. Hmmm, celebrity chefs.
88. Shelves and shelves of celebrity chefs.
89. Jamie. Jamie I get. Jamie I love. Jamie I buy heaps.
90. But, Pete Evans?! Sort it out Australia.
91. Righto, travel then. I love travel.
92. LONELY PLANET!!!!
93. Gives me goosebumps every time.
94. My Lonely Planets are my most treasured books.
95. 55 well thumbed countries: my life via guidebook.
96. And Lonely Planet, what an Australian success story!
97. Onya Tony and Maureen. You changed the world.
98. You changed my world.
99. And what an amazing business you made...
100. Wow, never been up here before.
101. This place is BIG. So many books!!!
102. How does anyone have time to ready anymore?!
103. So many choices.
104. I need something simple.
105. Something easy.
106. Something for dummies.
109. There are so many books for dummies.
110. Agile Project Management for Dummies?!
111. Getting a Big Data Job for Dummies?!
112. Thermodynamics for Dummies?! Surely that's a contradiction?!
113. This is too much!!!
114. Okay, how about something political.
115. John Howard on The Menzies Era? So that's what he's been up to.
116. The Short And Excruciatingly Embarrassing Reign Of Captain Abbott? Wow, that was fast.
117. Or maybe some Australian History? Love my Australian history.
118. Thomas Keneally's Australians. That's a bucket list book series.
119. Maybe I should stick to something more digestible for now?
121. Righto, last stretch. Back downstairs to the basement.
122. What is this?! Kids books.
123. More In The Night Garden, Shaun the Sheep and Thomas The Tank Engine than any child could possibly need.
124. The Very Hungry Caterpillar! Merch overload!!!
125. OMG, Dr. Seuss!!! I LOVE Dr. Seuss. But maybe a bit too soon for my two-year-old?
126. Usborne! Man, I used to love Usborne.
127. Roald Dahl! The Boss.
128. (Though it seems that David Walliams is more popular now)
129. Think I'll leave the kids books for another day.
130. Okay, one last section.
131. Board Games!
132. Board games are still popular?!
133. Dymnocks really do have all angles covered.
134. Chess! Cluedo! Ludo! Mononpoly!
135. How does anyone have time to play (non-computer) games?!
136. Okay, back upstairs.
137. Time to make some choices.
138. What's it going to be?
139. Let's keep it simple.
140. Something about Australia.
141. Oh hello there Tim Winton!
142. A book about the world's largest island!
143. Our beautiful home, girt by sea.
144. Righto. Time to pay.
145. Oh look, some funny books near the till!
146. Resist last minute impulse buy. Resist last minute impulse buy.
147. "Great choice sir." WHY THANK YOU. It didn't take me long.
148. Why are the staff at Dymocks so nice?!
149. Thanks guys! You're the best.