Once upon a time there was a lone warrior tortoise.


He roamed Santa Monica in search of food...

"The cactus drew first blood!" he said.

Nothing could keep Rambo from a prefect...round...beer.

Occasionally, Rambo himself was mistaken for a hamburger.

One day, Rambo became famous when a random person took his picture and it ended up on the front page of Reddit.
Suddenly, everyone thought he was a ninja turtle!

Now, Rambo spreads the word about tortoise conservation.

But at the end of the day, he walks out into the sunset alone...at .005 mph.