7 Reasons Shouting Into The Grand Canyon May Be Better Than Starting A Blog.

The internet is full. Well, ok it's not full. It is still accepting pictures of people's dinners by the million. And there is no such thing as 'too many cats'. However, I suspect that even the most eloquent and urbane of our modern-day Pepys' are lost in the cut-throat ker-fuffle of the blogosphere. My advice to those starting out? shout into the grand canyon instead.

1. A Wider Audience.

Pick the right spot, aim your shout and your wryly observed, witty anecdote and social commentary will be instantly heard by tens of people. Those tens could go on to tell still more. Now that's viral.

This may not sound a lot but I would be delighted if my obsessively-checked hit counter ever highlighted that kind of traffic.

2. An Echoed Response Is Still A Response.

Say, for the sake of argument, that someone actually reads your blog then, the sad fact is, that they are unlikely to leave feedback. If they do leave a comment, statistically speaking, it will be anti-semitic hate-speak. An echo from the Grand canyon, however, can be very self-affirming and serve to compound your world view, as demonstrated in the play below:

Canyon-logger/Clogger:"I BELIEVE IN WORLD PEACE!"

Echo-responder: "World Peace!!"

(I thought I'd cultivate a cultured audience with this picture. Oh, and also, boob).

3. No Electronic-Skeletons In Your Online Closet.

Anecdotally, as we grow older, our politics mature to the right and, as such, our collective futures (as conservative MPs or bank-executives) could be damaged by our radical and socialist on-line footprint. Or, perhaps more pertinently, what if the dog you get in the future sees how much you used to love your cat? "Why don't you post about me, mummy" barks Fido, in evident distress.

No such worry with a canyon-log or clog.

4. You're Out In The Open Air.

Finally the nagging from your mum will stop. Well the nagging about getting fresh air will, your room will still be a tip. And you'll be happy too, who knows, you might a get one of those tans we've all heard about in chat rooms.

5. Your Boss-Hating Diatribes Will Not Get You Fired (Probably)

To a person of a blogging disposition it would seem the most natural and most therapeutic process in all the world to publish vitriolic, bile-laden attacks on incompetent, lazy and foul-smelling bosses. However bosses hate that and they have the power to fire you. The only safe way to vent your spleen? Why sir, may I recommend the humble clog?

6. You Will Not Expose Your Grammar To The Pedantic Internet.

How do you comfort an English teacher in distress? There, their, they're.

Your many fans will not notice typos, grammatical mistakes or peculiarities of style; the incorrect use of a semi-colon or a self-indulgent propensity for the use of unnecessary, hyphenated compound-words. And let us not forget that it is improper to start a sentence with a preposition or to unwittingly split an infinitive.

Don't flog the blog, become a clog dog!

7. Plenty Of Room to Expand.

Bored of clogging? Try shouting at the Wookie Hole, Cheddar Gorge, or the Arctic Tundra. So many options.