1.
My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name is spelled in the e-mail. My name
2.
co-worker: i don't know how i'm gonna get home me: damn that sucks
3.
every day men leave their homes with no bag, no water bottle, no lip balm, no hand sanitizer, no extra layer in case they get cold, just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket. chaotic and reckless
4.
me: :( fall scented candle: * * . 🍂 * . * ✨ . * . 🍁 * . * . 🎃 . * * . * 🕯️ *. *. . 🍁*. . ✨ *. * * . *. * . . 🎃 * . * . .🍂 *. . me: :)
5.
me saying goodbye to the boy i was making out with at the bar for the past 30 minutes because my friends said if I left in the next five minutes we could go get pizza
6.
bury me with a hair tie on my wrist just in case
7.
the nightmare before christmas guy if he still had skin
8.
me sending signals to my best friend that there’s a cute guy around
9.
My grandma told me she stopped smoking
10.
me: *fixing myself some cereal at 3am* my mom: who the fuck is that???? me: https://t.co/kTmkoMOBZD
11.
first day of school today & i wore a cute ass outfit, u kno damn well i’m wearing it again tomorrow cause my TTH class don’t know bout my MWF class
12.
At this point Im about to make a thread of these children and their before and after school pictures because LMFAO 😭
13.
Me, a Princess Bride fan, hiding under the bed: Armed robber: Me: Armed robber: Me: Armed robber: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father..." Me: PREPARE TO DIE! ...oh fuck. https://t.co/ExafShXXl8
14.
amy adams could do the godfather but al pacino couldn’t do enchanted
15.
So my BOYFRIEND comes home last night absolutely smashed, gets undressed and then just stands there in my room. So I'm like are you coming to bed? And he goes "no thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a girlfriend" and goes to sleep on the floor 😭😭😭
16.
Girls: omg dunno how I’ve got so many bruises ! 🤪🥰💘😦🤫😘🤩😔😜😎🧐🥵😨🤠 xxXxx Also girls:
17.
Is pregnancy genetic cause my mom was pregnant and so was my grandma and I’m worried
18.
every woman in a 70s movie
19.
how i act with my mom vs how i act with my dad https://t.co/zk4grf0G2N
20.
well, clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?
21.
YALL I WAS SEXTING BUT I SENTNIT TO MY MOM INSTEAD IM FUCKINT CRYING
22.
A wedding? You mean an open bar where two people are getting married
23.
Okay tinder...but for girls who want to be friends and do stuff like shop, pilates, skincare, watch films, etc
24.
I just-
25.
So I walk into the bathroom and this girl stops me from entering the stall and says: “Sorry I couldn’t help but notice your earrings, are you from Texas??” These are the earrings I was wearing:
26.
1st base: sex 2nd base: hitting each other up when the sun is out 3rd base: sharing childhood trauma 4th base: verbally expressing romantic interest
27.
my mom whenever I’m out after 9 pm: https://t.co/dBPhlJLA1h
28.
Hot girl summer is over. It’s time for grand theft autumn