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    Feb 10, 2020

    17 Hilarious Things Women Tweeted This Week

    "Millennials aren’t getting married because we can’t say 'my wife' with a straight face."

    Alright, folks! It's that time again. Here are some of the funniest tweets from women this week.

    BuzzFeed

    1. This woman, whose husband is giving the Peloton husband a run for his money:

    Husband just said “casually” to me: “maybe you could google JLo’s workout and just do that?” as he shoves, and I am not making this up, the kids’ uncrustables sandwich into his mouth. I would like to preemptively report a murder.

    2. This woman who expertly trolled us all:

    No one: People on Insta doing those ‘which ____ are you’ filters:

    3. This woman, whose boyfriend is a unicorn:

    My boyfriend has no mental illness and it's the weirdest shit. You know what he does when he's tired? Goes to bed. When he's hungry? Eats a snack. When he's drunk? Stops drinking. I don't get it.

    4. This woman who is nice to a fault:

    “No worries if not!” I cry cheerfully to my sobbing family as they sit around my death bed. “No worries if not!” my final breath expelled. “No worries if not!” stands my epitaph. But reader, there were worries.

    5. This woman who's probably questioning her place in the world:

    my sister: why do you delete so many tweets? me: sometimes you don't know something's really stupid until you send it out into the world my mother: *staring at me just a beat too long*

    6. This woman who gave some v practical advice about dog naming:

    Before you commit to a dog name, go outside at 6:30 AM with no bra on and see how it feels begging that name to poo.

    7. This woman who shared a video of someone's adorably sassy grandma:

    8. This woman who knows that Borat is a part of us all:

    Millennials aren’t getting married because we can’t say “my wife” with a straight face.

    9. This woman who hilariously called out this clumsy baby:

    I hate kids 😭😭 she barely touched his leg

    10. This woman who played a trick on her boyfriend:

    My mans was trying to be romantic but I’m childish af so I used that snap filter that makes you look like a man 😂😂😂

    11. This woman who predicted the future of sports:

    2020: Superbowl LIV 2021: Superbowl LAUGH 2022: Superbowl LOVE

    12. This woman who made a Greta Thunberg/Ferris Bueller comparison that I can't stop thinking about:

    what if Greta Thunberg is in a kind of Ferris Bueller situation where she just wanted one day off school and it’s spiralled out of control

    13. This woman who has seen something she should never see at an Olive Garden:

    I waitressed at olive garden for years and no amount of training can prepare you for the number of men who think it's ok to propose to their girlfriends in an olive garden on valentine's day

    14. This woman who knows her weakness and owns it:

    15. This woman, whose boyfriend should know better but sadly does not:

    What’s it like living with a man you ask......?? The other night I asked Kyle to put the chili (I made it in the instapot) into the fridge because I was too tired to do it. He said he did. I wake up the next morning TO THIS LMAO I CANNOT MAKE THIS UP PEOPLE!!!!!

    16. This woman who expertly summed up the tragedy that is dating:

    guys are like “let’s keep things casual and by that i mean we do all the normal parts of a relationship like have sex and also be really emotionally intimate, but if i ever decide i don’t want to do that anymore i don’t have to talk to you about it i can just stop texting you.”

    17. And finally, this woman, whose mother clearly needs some iPhone lessons:

    Apparently my mom thought your phone automatically closed your last browser tab when you opened a new one. My brother just sent me this and I can’t 😭

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