1.
Am I the most attractive woman out there ? Of course not. But do I have a good personality ? Well, no. But do I wake up every day and try to be the best person that I can be ? Also no.
2.
Two girls greeting each other after studying abroad for three months
3.
Who the fuck didn’t name these S’moreos? https://t.co/XU4hhOCCvy
4.
Me: Age is just a number My body: And today you're 85 lol
5.
it's me, your dead wife :( please reminisce about me while drinking from a glass of whiskey at 11am!!!
6.
This is the twin that got the most nutrients https://t.co/uMbP9ATxO1
7.
same
8.
my cousin has a michael myers mask and he can’t stop wearing it
9.
thinking that people want to steal your boyfriend is a mental disorder. no one wants your boyfriend. have you had a boyfriend? exactly. no one wants it. calm down
10.
I heard my kids joking on each other in the other room and someone yelled out “that’s why you look like mommy in the morning” Wait a fucking minute NOW ! Lmaoo
11.
someone tell Baby Gap it’s not their fault https://t.co/bxQAeZqrYu
12.
STOP blocking your momma from your posts... let her see the hoe she raised
13.
the jonas brothers are coming back and my dad told me straight to my face, “you will not drag me to another one of their concerts after what happened when you were 6” long story short, the jonas brothers opened up for hannah montana and i threw up when i saw nick
14.
Are these the only two options
15.
Me: *sets away message* ~*~i LiKe U tHe WaY u R. ~*~wHeN wE’rE dRiViNg iN uR cAR Also me: *is 13 and has no friends that can drive and definitely has no friends that have a car and has never had a real crush and doesn’t really know what this new song is about*
16.
Me, in hell: I was told there would be a “special” place for me?
17.
this dude outside of home depot asked me where he could get crystals and i had a necklace with an amethyst on it and i said “you can have this one” and he said “crystal meth bitch”
18.
me: :( scented candle: * * . * . * . * . * . * . . * * . * 🕯 *. *. . *. * . * * . *. * . . * . * . . me: :)
19.
🎶Tell me something girl...
20.
dating my last boyfriend was like being on the bachelor but not knowing I was on the bachelor
21.
they both look like they’re at a harry styles costume party https://t.co/PSpwA1PShX
22.
*me whenever something good happens*
23.
no one: me: so you hate me
24.
my friends: *waiting for me to tell my story* me before I even start the story:
25.
what straignt men wanted in 1979: women who like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain what straight men want in 2019: must be ten times hotter than me but NOT know it. can fit entire meatball sub in mouth but NOT in a slutty way. SIZE TWO. LOVES sex but is a VIRGIN.
26.
okay