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    Rob Lowe's Son Found Out His Mom Taught Gwyneth Paltrow How To Give Blowjobs And I Have Second-, Third-, And Fourth-Hand Embarrassment

    Gimme the brain bleach!

    I think at this point it's safe to say that Gwyneth Paltrow is a pretty ~open~ person.

    Gwyneth Paltrow on a red carpet

    And she recently proved that fact again when she went on Rob Lowe's podcast, Literally! With Rob Lowe.

    Rob Lowe and Gwyneth Paltrow on the red carpet

    The 47-year-old Goop mogul chatted with the Parks and Rec star and revealed that his wife, makeup artist Sheryl Berkoff, taught her how to give blowjobs.

    Rob and Sheryl on a red carpet

    UMMMMMM.

    "I met Sheryl when I was 15 or 16," Gwyneth began. "And I was like immediately obsessed with her."

    Gwyneth with her mom in Blythe Danner

    "First of all, she was dating Keanu Reeves, who was my celebrity crush. And she was so cool," she continued. "And she knew that I was sneaking cigarettes, and she would come smoke with me behind the trailer, and she taught me how to give a blowjob, and you know, all the classic Sheryl stuff."

    Sheryl walking down a street in 2019

    Me, @ "Sheryl stuff."

    "It was less about remembering the technique. Although I'm sure that I implemented it the first chance I got... It was so cool to have someone treat me like an adult and see me as like a young woman and someone who is sexual. She just made me feel so free," she concluded.

    Rob Lowe and Sheryl Berkof in 1995

    Well that's...something. But unfortunately, for Rob and Sheryl's son, it doesn't stop there. Their 25-year-old, John Owen Lowe, read Gwyneth's comments about his mom's, *ehem*, enhanced oral skills.

    Rob Lowe, Sheryl Berkoff and John Owen Lowe at movie premiere

    "2020 has been a wild ride, but this has settled it for me. I choose death by murder hornets," he tweeted, along with a screen grab of an article about his mom's "sex tip."

    2020 has been a wild ride, but this has settled it for me. I choose death by murder hornets.

    Also, seriously, what happened to the murder hornets???

    TBH, that seems an appropriate reaction. If I read something like that about my parents — you know what, I can't even let my mind go there. Where's the neuralyzer when ya need it?!

    Anyway, this has been Gwyneth being Gwyneth.

    CORRECTION

    Gwyneth Paltrow is 47 years old. A previous version of this post misstated her age.