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    Feb 29, 2020

    This Woman's Viral Tweet About Sharing Cake Pops Sparked A Debate About Dating Etiquette

    *Stephanie Tanner's voice* How rude!

    Two weeks ago, romance author Alisha Rai went on a first date* with a guy who, after buying her coffee, bought two cake pops...both of which he ate himself.

    Finding the moment funny, she decided to share the story on Twitter, never expecting to go viral.

    yesterday I met a guy for coffee and he asked what I’d like to drink and went and fetched the order. And he came back with two cake pops and I was like aw that’s cute! and then he ate them both. in front of me. .............so like he’s clearly a monster right

    Not only has the tweet since been liked nearly half a million times, but her experience became an international debate about dating etiquette.

    Many people found the anecdote hilarious and relatable, with some even sharing their own stories of similar scenarios.

    @AlishaRai So you grabbed the cake pop sticks and stabbed him, right? That seems first bad date stab worthy to me...

    @AlishaRai That's the type of monster who wouldn't share a floating door when the Titanic stinks. Cut him loose.

    And almost everyone agreed that this was a surefire sign of someone NOT to date.

    @AlishaRai It’s nice when they wave those red flags so bright

    @AlishaRai He’s chaotic evil. Never speak to him again.

    @AlishaRai How old is he? If he’s in his 30s, then yes. If he’s 23 tho, he just hasn’t learned yet

    They called her date's behavior "inconsiderate," "amazingly rude," and "just weird."

    @AlishaRai Unfortunately, the selfish, self-serving, me-me-me culture we are seeing more & more of today. Just like the woman in the news that put her seat back in another passengers personal space without any regard whatsoever for his discomfort. Common courtesy, etiquette...?? Gone.

    @AlishaRai You are absolutely NOT wrong. It was kinda inconsiderate and selfish on his part, & not at all thoughtful.... that shows his true colors. Sorry not sorry but don’t listen the the haters defending him 🤷🏼‍♀️

    @AlishaRai If someone did that to me I wouldn't drink or eat anything to save my appetite for my next date cause he aint it

    But, there were definitely others who thought the whole debate "seemed strange," some even calling Alisha "entitled," a "gold-digger," or anti-feminist.

    @AlishaRai The whole debate seems very strange to me. Am I the only person who simply orders what she wants without expecting someone else to cater for me? I would never expect someone else's dessert 😳

    @easyainteasy @AlishaRai Say it louder please. People are way overreacting to a guy who wanted his cake pops. Its not his job to buy you dessert.

    @AlishaRai You are a feminist why not get your own?

    Now, Alisha is speaking out and clearing the air on #CakePopGate. "Most people took it the way I intended...as a joke," she said in an exclusive interview with BuzzFeed.

    As for going viral, she said she didn't think she'd ever hear "Michael Strahan discussing my dating life for three minutes." That being said, she made it clear that "there was a really negative part" of the attention, too.

    "I don't think you can be a woman on the internet and not be harassed," she said. "So, I've experienced people sending me nasty things or whatever, but never so targeted and all at once."

    Truly, there is nothing a woman can go viral for that will not result in an avalanche of misogyny, not even a facetious tweet. About dessert etiquette.

    "They were flooding my Instagram, my Twittter, my Facebook. They were sending me emails...death threats and rape threats. They were screenshotting my body and drawing on it and stuff."

    oh no. i scared a good man like jake away from relationships on account of being a greedy cake pop fiend. sorry ladies. what a loss. :(

    She called the experience "traumatic" and "invasive," and said that she's "genuinely anxious about getting on Twitter now." She'd briefly locked her account and eventually gave her friend her password so the most triggering messages could be deleted without her having to see more of them.

    The whole debacle is coincidentally reminiscent of Alisha's upcoming novel, Girl Gone Viral, which follows a woman who goes into hiding after her private conversation with a stranger is tweeted and misconstrued to the world.

    Of course, the situations aren't identical since Alisha tweeted about herself and it was factual. But, she does think social media has impacted dating in a way where "we start to see people more as characters."

    Ultimately, Alisha said that she doesn't regret sending the tweet and that "had it been a girlfriend who sat down and did that, I would've tweeted the exact same thing."

    Her overall message? "The cake pops are not just cake pops, they're a metaphor for the kindness we show strangers. Be a little bit kinder to people and share your damn cake pops!"

    Westend61 / Getty Images

    And reader, I must agree.

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