Skip To Content
    Updated on Apr 16, 2019. Posted on Apr 15, 2019

    22 Things Women Tweeted This Week That Made Me Laugh And Slap My Knee

    "Imagine carrying a baby for 9 months just for it to have a fucking nut allergy...I’ll pass."

    BuzzFeed

    1.

    dudes b like sorry i ghosted u, i was never fastest in the mile in elementary school and my turtle ran away when i was 7 so i’ve got abandonment issues we can still fuck tho

    2.

    Recipe: Add 2 cloves of garlic. Me. A wise woman:

    3.

    I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you already have six blank notebooks at home.

    4.

    5.

    Kids are mean asf! This little girl asked me what year I was born, I said 1985 and she said “Were you a slave?” 😩😭💔

    6.

    ladies, if he: -doesn’t text back -takes up all your energy -used to be a star -doesn’t like having his picture taken -is 6.5 million times the mass of the sun he’s not your man. he’s a black hole

    7.

    i tried to block the baddest bitch on Twitter, but it said " edit profile "

    8.

    Me: CVS: if you don't pick up your medication in the next 15 minutes we will fucking kill you

    9.

    no one: not a single soul: me:

    10.

    HS teachers: college is NOT a joke a real college exam question i just had: “which doesn’t belong?” A. Ethos B. Pathos C. Logos D. Migos

    11.

    have you met kids? https://t.co/BYkmwq7fTy

    12.

    Me: ☹️ Shania Twain: Lets go girls Me: 🤠

    13.

    ever since my daughter found out our plant, serena, wasn’t getting enough sunlight, she insists on taking her out for walks while holding her up to the sun. 🌱

    14.

    my dog is HOLDING A SINGLE PIECE OF DRY PASTA BETWEEN HER PAWS and eating it

    15.

    I hate the little joke when a group of people at a meal start eating when the food arrives and someone’s like “we’re all quiet now hehe now that we’re eating hehe” and people are like hehe

    16.

    i have not known peace since andy samberg posted this photo

    17.

    I WORK AT A FUCKING DOG HOTEL AND AN OWNER CALLED ME TO PICK UP THEIR DOG AND I DIDNT ANSWER AND MY PHONE SENT ONE OF MY AUTOMATIC MESSAGES TO HER F

    18.

    Imagine carrying a baby for 9 months just for it to have a fucking nut allergy... I’ll pass

    19.

    [bar] TWO-FACE: aw man your face is fucked too. how do you cope with it? PHANTOM OF THE OPERA: mostly writing operas TWO-FACE: cool cool. I kill people PHANTOM OF THE OPERA: oh yeah no so do I

    20.

    live-action Scar is not wickedly sexy like the original Lion King cartoon babe was, so i'm out

    21.

    My dad is so dramatic when I’m not home all day.

    22.

    Eartha Kitt slapped the f%#! outta me! She thought I was sleeping with her boyfriend.. which I was, but I didn’t know he was taken. 😩💔 https://t.co/Cq4YkPM0uQ

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form