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Can You Guess Which Of These Llamas Got Cast In The UArts Season?

Based on their headshots.

Posted on
  1. Vogue
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    YES!

    This llama came into his audition with a poorly articulated rap he wrote himself and then stood in the room brooding until his 2.5 minutes were up. His special skills include beatboxing, not giving a damn, and electric guitar. He received sixteen callbacks, prepared for none of them, and was cast in a devised heavy metal musical about the life of Louis XIV.

  2. Katherine Cowley
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Nope.

    This llama's ears and belt were impressively high, but sadly, the auditors didn't want to see it show off. They wanted to see its raw, brave, unique individuality. Maybe next year it should just cut its ear off and eat it in the audition room? #PerformanceArt

  3. @llamamoot on Twitter
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Yep.

    You might think at first glance that this llama is disguised, something you probably don't want to be in your headshot. However, to the trained eye of an artistic professional, it is actually just expressing itself by wearing accessories associated with traditional disguise. In doing so, the llama is actually deconstructing the concept of disguise and presenting its artistic point of view. Well done, llama! After receiving three callbacks (some of the directors were mad that they couldn't see your eyes during your monologue, but they just don't understand what you were trying to say with your outfit), you will be cast in a darkly comedic dance theatre piece about the Soviet Union, entitled "The Onion." You've only taken the four semesters of ballet required by the MT major, but the movement in this piece is less about technique and more about physical expression.

  4. Pinterest
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    No.

    This llama received a couple of callbacks, but they weren't for ensemble shows and there were people who fit the roles better. It's nothing personal. (We promise it's not because it printed its headshots out in black and white instead of color glossy!) The llama knew this and didn't get its hopes up anyway. Better luck next time, llama!

  5. Pinterest
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Yes!

    This llama was just scruffy enough to be cast in a Polyphone musical set on a down-home, scrappy Nebraska farm around a bonfire. The entire musical is just folk songs being sung around the fire, until the very end, when we realize the farm is an asylum and the entire time, the llama's character has actually been having a vivid hallucination based on the folk album he was listening to during his mental breakdown. This was actually the llama's only callback, but it was so perfect for the role that it booked despite the odds. (We told you black and white headshots don't mean you won't be cast!) Congrats, llama! We can't wait to see you sit by that tiny bonfire for two hours on the Merriam stage!

  6. chrisofthellamas.tumblr.com
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Duh.

    This llama was called back for LITERALLY everything and also had a show produced in Equinox, Home Series AND Prequinox and is assistant directing three senior projects because the seniors just insisted on having it on their production teams as well as in their shows. It's already started its own theatre company, but don't get the wrong idea! It also like, has a life outside of school and goes to a lot of concerts and parties at Temple because it's like, well-rounded and a real person outside of theatre. It never sleeps, but it's definitely getting its money's worth. Oh, and it's cast in four things, including the bonfire asylum musical, where it plays the bonfire and accompanies all the songs on harmonica and ukulele. We're not sure what its major is, but we're pretty sure it's actually a quadruple major with a double minor in music and philosophy (told you it was well-rounded). Honestly, llama, how are your grades?

  7. Getty Images
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Nope.

    This llama is talented and definitely weird looking, but it's a specific kind of unconventional that just didn't fit in anything this season. Sorry, llama. I'm sure if you stick it out the right role will come along! At least you showed yourself for who you are :)

  8. Pinterest
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    TRICK QUESTION.

    This llama is a DPP. What, you couldn't tell by the glasses? Yeah, we know that doesn't mean anything about casting, but this llama actually did not audition for the season and is instead trying to hone its directorial vision. It is also dramaturging a show about love, racism and PTSD in a retirement home, where all the characters except for the two ethnically ambiguous grandchildren will be played by outside hires. But if by some chance the need for an extra actor arises, this llama will be more than happy to step in. After all, it did play Celimene in a genderbent, punk-rock adaptation of The Misanthrope in last season's Home Series.

  9. pcwallart.com
    Yes
    No
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    No.

    This llama is way too basic and was not cast. Lose the pink scarf, llama. You are trying way too hard. Next time, be yourself and come in the room naked!

Can You Guess Which Of These Llamas Got Cast In The UArts Season?

Casting is fucking impossible to understand.

That's literally all.

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