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1. Make sure your headphones are actually plugged in before pressing play.
2. Triple Check the "to" line in all emails.
3. Never leave your phone face up on your desk.
4. Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
5. Look busy at all times.
6. Get at work at 5:30 AM to avoid lines at the printer.
7. The "save" and "delete" buttons are not the same thing.
8. Shredding is permanent.
9. Don't take a lunch break unless you're making at least $75K.
10. The "spinning wheel of death" is no longer an excuse.
11. There's no nap time in Corporate America.
12. Taxes are real.
13. If someone offers to help you-it's a trick and you should run the other way.
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