For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Sound familiar? Newton’s third law of motion states that nature maintains a very fine balance. Sometimes we forget that the reason we don’t fall through a chair when we sit down is a simple fact of physics; the chair exerts an equal and opposite force upon us. Well, why? You might ask. Why does it need to be this way? Over the last several years, I have struggled with this law as it applies to relationships. What kind of relationships? Not chairs and human buttocks, but human relationships. To take it even further- the relationships of our own thoughts and emotions. I have watched myself over the years as women I expressed interest in rejected me one after the other. I saw their reactions to my being attracted to them. I noticed a pattern. I noticed how I reacted to their reactions. What was happening? I thought. Finally, it hit me, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” So, I tried to use logic and told myself that all I needed to do was be more understanding in my personal interactions. If I could just take a step back instead of always exhibiting raw emotions, maybe one of these women would date me. But why, I complained, must I ALWAYS take the higher road? Why can’t I just be raw and express exactly what I think and feel in every single moment? While it sounds fun and exciting and dramatic, and feels REALLY good, being raw also has the power to sabotage human relationships. There is a very important concept to understand in human interactions. First of all, if you are going to be raw all the time, you must learn to never take anything personally. Why? Because you will start to see that it is not about you, but instead it is in fact about the other person and their desire or even subconscious programming to be emotionally reactive and most likely defensive. The second thing to understand is that it takes a very forgiving and understanding attitude to not take anything personally. Now, I admit, ashamedly, that I have yet to master toning down my own emotional reactivity. In fact, I find it extremely hard despite knowing the truth of the matter and the potential for emotions to blow up and egos to spar. So what is this natural balance that we are trying to achieve when it comes to emotional reactions? Are we being too superficial about things? Is the balance actually supposed to be between our own internal thoughts and emotions, between our rational mind and our emotional mind? Having been diagnosed with “Borderline Personality Disorder” I just recently learned that people with this condition are often stuck in the emotional mind. I equate the emotional mind to feminine energy and the rational mind to masculine energy, both of which we are all composed in varying amounts. There are numerous articles on balancing the masculine and feminine energies, but the quote that is most powerful for me is from the book, “The Subtle Body, An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy.” This book speaks of the infamous spiritual kundalini process in which the divine feminine rises from the bottom of the spine to meet the divine masculine, culminating at the Crown Chakra. The author states, “Upon merging these energies, the initiate achieves health and wisdom.” Sounds enticing, right? So all I have to do to avoid being emotionally raw and reactive time and time again is...achieve the ultimate balance internally, thus satisfying Newton’s third law of motion. Great, that should be a cinch. If you are wondering what the heck I’m talking about, let me explain. We all have a defined sex, male or female, yet what they don’t tell us at birth is our energy signature. How much feminine are you? How much masculine are you? What does that even mean? Well, our society has assigned certain characteristics to masculine and feminine, such as masculine being aggressive and feminine being submissive. To get back to Newton, the goal is to balance our masculine side with our feminine side, achieving what you may be guessing is...neutrality. Let me give an example. You are in an argument with someone and your raw gut reaction is anger. Instead of this anger snowballing into more upset like anxiety and sadness, you bring in your masculine side and take a step back. Your masculine side intervenes with, “Take it easy, try to see it from the other person’s perspective, it’s going to be ok, you are over-reacting.” Wow, how nice it would be if that happened automatically like a meter that goes above eighty degrees Fahrenheit and adjusts back to seventy. I guess this internal balancing of Newton’s Third Law of motion is not as instinctive as the external version which usually entails, “I hate you!” “Well I hate you too!” Hopefully, by fostering more self-awareness of our own behavior patterns we will arrive at the balance we are here to achieve. May we always remember that the more we fight something, the more it fights back. Next time you find yourself in an argument, try out these techniques. When someone is spewing anger and negativity at you, simply say, “OK,” or, take a step outside and sit quietly for 20 minutes and ask your higher self to guide you to a deeper understanding of the situation. You’ll be surprised at the results.