22 Brutally Honest Confessions From A Costa Barista

Just don't say "expresso".

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Sophie Hines
Sophie Hines
BuzzFeed Contributor

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1. Ordering an "expresso" will never cease to annoy us.

2. And setting our alarms for the morning shift never stops hurting.

3. We get a weird buzz at rush hour when our coffee-making-at-extreme-speed skills are put to the test.

4. Even though morning commuters never chat to us until they've had their caffeine fix.

5. Collecting and stacking the dirty cups and dishes is the worst job.

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You think stacking the dishwasher with your own filthy plates is gross? Try doing it for complete strangers.

6. And we'll always be amazed by how much people waste.

7. Creating cappuccino foam is a seriously tricky business.

8. But it's not as tiring as explaining the different types of coffee to every single customer.

9. A lot of middle-aged people panic when they get to the counter and go, “I just want A NORMAL COFFEE” while staring in bewilderment at the menu.

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Just order an Americano with milk and you’re good.

10. But others think they’re being really clever with their coffee orders and just make stuff up.

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A “skinny iced mocha extra dry” is not a thing. Next.

11. When we see a gaggle of 13-year-old girls approaching us, we start getting the ingredients for our Chocolate Coolers ready.

12. People try to order "frappuccinos" all the time, but we are not Starbucks.

13. We’re always keeping an eye out for broken biscuits or gone-off sandwiches.

14. Nothing makes us feel as silly as fruitlessly trying to find the owner of a toasted panini.

15. We have to develop asbestos hands to deal with the heat.

16. But having to unstack the dishwasher the second it's finished will always hurt a bit.

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So. Damn. Hot.

17. Sometimes we want to point out that ordering the world’s most calorific drink with "skinny" milk is not gonna make it healthy.

18. We get far too excited about the Christmas cups arriving.

19. Seeing people Instagram their coffee is always funny.

20. Some of our regulars are...interesting characters.

21. And even though every Costa has one know-it-all barista on the staff...

22. ...most of our colleagues feel like family.

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