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22 Thoughts Girls Have While Going Out During The Winter

No one can keep me warm at night like my electric blanket.

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1. "How cold is it? What am I going to wear?"

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2. "Ugh, I have to wear tights. So my outfit is ruined."

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Not to mention I'll be pulling them up all night.

3. "Do I REALLY need to wear a jacket?"

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Maybe I can get away with just wearing a blazer.

4. "Oh fuck. I definitely need a jacket."

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Can I bring a blanket to the bar?

5. "But I totally don’t have to wear a hat. Screw hats."

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Mess up my hair or let my ears fall off?

Frozen ears. Definitely.

6. “What shoes should I sacrifice to the salt gods tonight?”

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They were good shoes while they lasted.

7. “I can wear heels. It won’t be THAT bad.”

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They shoveled the sidewalks, right?

8. "WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF? SCREW HEELS."

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Everything hurts.

9. “We should walk to save cash."

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I immediately regret this decision.

10. “FUCK THIS, LET'S HAIL A CAB.”

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WHERE ARE ALL THE CABS???

11. “Excuse me, it's my friend's birthday — can we skip the line?”

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*looks at ID*

"I MEAN – SHE'S GETTING MARRIED?"

*walks to back of the line*

12. "OK, it's my turn to stand in the middle for warmth."

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But. I'm. Freeeeeezing.

13. "Wait, how much is the coat check????"

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I could have just bought another drink to keep me warm rather than being ROBBED.

14. "Can we crack a window in here? Jeez."

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Cool. It's below freezing outside and hotter than satan's asshole in here.

15. "Fuck, I have to pee."

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Gotta wiggle myself out of these tights. Aaaaand they've ripped.

16. "I hope my snot tissues don't fall out of my purse while I'm flirting."

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Is EVERYONE sick here?

17. "It's too hot, gotta go outside to cool down."

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Now the sweat has congealed into a layer of frozen despair.

18. "kjsdoksadhflj" aka drunk texting with gloves on.

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Hmm, I wonder how Freddy Krueger sent booty calls.

19. "I can totally walk home."

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No I can't.

20. "Need coat. Where's my coat?"

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Nothing like waiting 30 minutes in line when it's 2 a.m. and you're drunk.

21. "THIS ISN'T EVEN MY COAT."

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Screw it. Guess I got a new coat.

22. "Is it gonna be winter forever?????"

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