1. Being able to squeeze through tight spaces like you're a fucking superhero.
2. Not getting wedgies from every piece of clothing known to man.
3. Being able to wear things without them ripping on your gigantic bottom.
4. Never experiencing the true awkwardness of clothes exploding on your body in public.
5. Wearing a bodycon dress that doesn't constantly shimmy its way up your thighs like that's its job.
6. Finding a pair of well-fitting of jeans.
7. And putting on a pair of jeans in no time.
8. Being able to quickly get out of chairs without taking the whole damn thing with you.
9. Not knocking things over/running into actual people on a daily basis.
10. Wearing a pair of low-riding jeans that doesn't expose the world to the Mariana Trench, aka your buttcrack.
11. And being able to lean over without holding onto your bottoms for dear life.
12. Not leaving a visible mark wherever you sit.
13. Not having to buy a bottom size 3000 times bigger than your top.
14. Wearing short shorts without spilling out of them.
15. People not constantly pointing out that yes, you do have a large ass.
16. And people not having the urge to say to you, "Baby got back," "back that ass up," or "you know what to do with that big fat butt."
17. And finally, wearing leggings without showing off what you've got going on underneath.
