Hi. Fiercely curvy gal here. Apparently there's been some confusion over what you should and shouldn't say to your plus-size friends.
Well, I'm here to try to help you out. Now, I'm not saying I speak for all plus-size girls out there. Heck, some of us don't even like to be called plus-size. But I do feel like I speak for at least a fraction of us so I'm gonna go ahead and say this: Sometimes people say stuff to us that fucking sucks.
There. I said it. It doesn't matter if the person is not trying to be mean or condescending, it can still come off that way. And no, I'm not being "oversensitive" today. I'm just saying, it's nice to be treated somewhat like a human being every now and then.
So let's go on this journey, I promise I won't bite — unless you're holding cake. HAHA FAT JOKES OK WE ALL GET ONE.
What you say: "Wow, you're soooo confident with your body."
What we hear: "Wow, it's amazing how you choose to live life somewhat happily even though you're fat."
What you say: "Aren't you worried about your health?"
What we hear: "Apparently, I've magically apparated into your doctor's office, looked through your files, and deemed that your doctor was incorrect in proclaiming you to be a perfectly healthy human being."
What you say: "Do you need workout tips?"
What we hear: "I'm assuming you don't workout and I don't realize that pointing out your size is probably not the best incentive to get your self-confidence in a good enough place that you'll even want to work out."
What you say: "I didn't know you work out so much."
What we hear: "How can you work out often and not be thin?"
What you say: "Do you have a thyroid condition?"
What we hear: "So what's your excuse?"
What you say: "Do you think your weight problems come from emotional overeating?"
What we hear: "STILL LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE, HERE."
What you say: "Are you just lazy?"
What we hear: "Fat = Doing nothing but eating all day. This is an equation I've known for years yet your body is giving me a different result."
What you say: "Don't worry, some guys/girls are into that."
What we hear: "I don't want you think you'll end up alone, some people will lower their standards because they weirdly wanna have sex with plus-size ladies."
What you say: "Ugh, I feel sooooo fat today."
What we hear: "I'm feeling self-conscious about myself and choosing to discuss this with my friend who is at least eight sizes larger than me without thinking about how it'll make her feel."
What you say: "You know, you would look so great in black. It's really slimming."
What we hear: "Dude, why are you trying to DRAW attention to the shape of your body? Shouldn't you be wanting to hide as much as possible?"
What you say: "Your face is so pretty that if you lost weight, you'd be STUNNING."
What we hear: "I'm just pointing out the fact that you can't be considered an attractive human being without being thinner."
What you say: "You're so lucky, I wish I could eat anything I want."
What we hear: "I'm not going to ask you about your lifestyle and instead I'll make a snap judgment that you stuff every kind of food into your endless, cavernous tum tum."
What you say: "Are you not worried about being a role model to others?"
What we hear: "I see that you are so comfortable with your size that you try to wear cute clothes and do your hair and makeup. Aren't you worried that others will look at your secureness with yourself and not think about how fat you are? WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?"
What you say: "It's not about being too thin or too big — it's about being healthy."
What we hear: "There's no way to be healthy at your size and there's no way to be healthy at a size 0. I want to inform every thin AND every thick girl that something must be wrong with their health because they could never naturally be that size anyway."
What you say: "Don't you just want to be normal-size?"
What we hear: "For some reason I can't get that you can be healthy at a size 0 or a size 16. I will call skinny girls 'bag of bones' 'cause they need to know they're too skinny. I will tell thicker girls that they are too big because they need to know they're too fat. Minding my own business is way too exhausting so instead I'm going to lump large groups of women together in a non-normal category."
What you say: "Aren't you just being sensitive?"
What we hear: "I'm going to ignore the fact that you could be tired of countless hurtful comments about your looks. In fact, let me tell you more things I find wrong with your body."
What you say: "I just want you to be happy."
What we hear: "Because there's no way anyone would be happy at your size, right?"