17 Vegas Stories That Make "The Hangover" Look Like A Walk In The Park
What happens in Vegas...ends up in this post.
1. This secret marriage.
"I don't know if this was wild, or just stupid. When I was 19, I got married in Vegas to a man I had been dating for just two months. We thought it would be funny to pretend to be married, but somewhere along the line we made the decision to go to city hall and sign the papers for real (thanks, tequila). That evening we got married on the strip and spent the night sneaking me into casinos and strip clubs. I lost my shoes, my debit card, and most of my self respect. I was so embarrassed after the fact that I never told anyone what I'd done. The relationship didn't last, obviously, but I lived married to this guy for years without anyone knowing. Even now, only my closest friends and partners know about it."
2. This straight-up extortion.
"One of my buddy's boyfriends went to Vegas for a boys weekend. One of the guys got drunk and took a chick back to his room. He woke up the next morning with no clothes and everything had been swiped, but she'd left a note. It said that she took life-ruining naked photos of him and wanted $10,000 within 48 hours or she would make the photos public. He went straight to the local Canadian embassy and the police. They tracked the phone and ended up arresting her without the photos being sent."
3. This luxurious limo ride.
"I had obviously been drinking. I got a limo for a group of us to go to the next club, because I wanted to make sure we didn’t get lost or separated. It took almost 40 minutes to get there, and cost something like $120. Seemed reasonable at the time. The next morning, we found out that we literally just went across the street. There was a pedestrian bridge over the street we could have used that would've taken three minutes."
4. This solution on a warm summer day.
"I went to a bottomless mimosa brunch in the middle of the summer. As you may know, Vegas gets really hot. As we walked out of the restaurant, there was a fountain in the middle of the plaza and I told my friend to dare me to jump in. I then took my pants and shirt off and jumped into the fountain. Security rolled up and told me to get out, and that the water would most likely make me sick."
5. This case of mistaken identity.
"My drunk husband had to stumble down a long hallway to the bathroom at a casino. There was a man who was blocking his entrance to the bathroom and refused to move, so my husband punched him in the face. Except the man was actually just my husband’s reflection in the mirror outside the bathroom door. His bloody knuckles and broken glass caused quite a scene. He will never live it down!"
6. This bathroom tour.
"My sister and I got food poisoning at a seafood buffet and threw up in every bathroom on the way back to the cab outside where our friends were waiting. We ended up rotating getting sick in our hotel bathroom for 24 hours while everyone else went out partying. And I then literally ran into Pam Anderson getting off an elevator."
7. This unforeseen foursome.
"It was days after my wife's 21st birthday. Following an afternoon of partying, we picked up a guy at the pool. He ended up calling his cousin and the four of us had a great time up in our room. It was her first time with three guys. The pictures and video didn’t stay in Vegas."
8. This prank gone wayyyyy too far.
"I was 21 and kind of a jerk. A large group of us went to Vegas and rented several rooms. The boys in one room made us mad, so we decided to prank them and mess up their room while they were out. We adhered gummy bears and bars of soap to the mirrors, drew on the windows with toothpaste, and moved all the furniture to the middle of the room and turned it upside down. The best part? Someone took a dump in the toilet and didn't flush, then we pushed one of the mattresses in the bathroom and leaned if right against the toilet to absorb part of the smell. It took them a whole day to forgive us."
9. This jackpot.
"I spent all night drinking with a random guy and woke up the next day to catch an Uber from a random hotel. As I was leaving, I opened my purse to find $600 in chips and $100 worth of weed. I have no idea how I got either. It was a good weekend."
10. This whisky-fueled rendezvous.
"I made the terrible choice of going into the hotel with one of those huge-ass whisky bottles that come with a cart to roll them on, and finished the whole thing between me and a couple of friends the first night. I still can’t remember much, but I woke up to pics of us running around the MGM, getting into a suite with some random people, falling asleep in the corridors, and frantically looking for a concierge because we couldn’t find our room in this huge hotel. Turns out we were staying at the Luxor."
11. This art appreciation.
"It started innocently enough with an enormous mudslide in one of those oversized martini glasses. I was well into mudslide number three at Caesar’s Palace, and my cousin decided it was time to remove me from the public eye. I took off confidently and ended up in front of the statue of David in the lobby, eye level with David’s juicy bits, so to speak. I let out a screech and proceeded to yell, 'ITS DAVID’S DONG!' and then slipped and landed with a crash on the marble floor. My cousin threw me into the first elevator she could find, which was the service elevator."
12. This party crashing.
"I was with a couple of friends and we accidentally crashed a private party put on by FedEx while trying to find a particular bar. Figuring what the hell, we pinned on a couple of name tags, mingled (apparently, it was a great quarter), ate some appetizers, and had a handful of drinks before casually putting the name tags back on the table and walking out. Looking back, I don’t think anyone realized that we weren’t supposed to be there."
13. This emotional evening.
"I went to Vegas this past June with my mom, and we went to see Lady Gaga's show since I'm a huge fan. It was probably the greatest show I've ever seen, and also the most I've ever drank in my entire life. Next thing I know, I'm laying on the bathroom floor at 3 a.m. eating pizza, covered in glitter, and crying my eyes out over how much I love Lady Gaga. I woke up the next morning in the empty bathtub, still not changed out of my outfit from the night before."
14. This generous donation.
"Me and my friends were wandering around Planet Hollywood mall one late night. We saw this stand that made your head into LEGO heads and bobble heads. We wanted one of my head so bad but didn’t have enough money, so we ended up asking random people for $1. This guy ended up asking me why and paid for a LEGO head of my head. It was $70, which doesn’t seem like a lot, but a stranger buying it was wild. It came in the mail a couple weeks later and my mom was so confused by it."
15. This sinful Saturday night.
"I went to Vegas two years ago for a Star Trek convention, alone. Saturday night I got all fucked up on Fremont Street and met two dudes named Red and Cowboy who were with an elderly Southern man they called Papa. We proceeded to get wasted, and found a bar that had a rooftop where you need a password to get in. I somehow figured out the password and we received bottle service the rest of the night. I woke up the next morning in my Airbnb surrounded by White Castle wrappers, with a tattoo of a combadge behind my right ear."
16. This serious breach of friendship.
"For my 21st birthday, my parents paid for three nights at a nice resort in Vegas for me and a friend. We hit the jackpot on the first night and got invited to go to a club with some guys who ordered bottle service for us. The second night, the same guys wanted to take us out, but the night kind of fizzled after a couple of hours. I decided to call it a night and headed back to our room. I was awoken a few hours later by my friend, who had brought one of the guys back to our room, and they proceeded to have loud, drunk sex right next to me."
17. And this story that's actually just...really nice.
"I invited 15 of my closest friends out to Vegas for my 21st birthday. I got ridiculously drunk on the second night and thought that was an appropriate time to come out of the closet. Eight years later, that was the wildest but also the best thing I have ever done."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.