People Are Sharing The "Highest" Things They've Ever Done, And I'm Sorry But Some Of These Are Hysterical
Note to self: Never eat that second edible.
1. "It’s small, but I was so excited for a bowl of cereal after a smoking sesh (cereal when you're high hits different). I poured a big bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and ran to the fridge to grab milk. In my fog, I grabbed my Brita instead and poured water into my bowl of cereal. It was the last of my cereal."
2. "My first year of college, my roommate and I decided to get stoned and watch Pineapple Express (of course). Ten minutes into the movie, my roommate turns to me with a confused look and says, 'Why is it in German?' Yep, we'd been watching the movie in a different language and neither of us realized it. It took us another five minutes to realize it wasn't German, but in fact, Spanish."
3. "I thought my reflection in the mirror was someone looking at me, and I just stared at it for a good 10 minutes and thought they were mocking me by copying me. I couldn’t even remember this happened until I looked at security camera footage the next day."
4. "I was high, lying in bed late one night, eating McNuggets and watching Friends. I couldn't actually hear any of the dialogue, just the laugh track. My husband was dying of laughter beside me. Ten years later, every time I rewatch Friends, he still brings it up."
5. "I felt bad my teeth had to chew my food and couldn't eat it, because it tasted so good."
6. "While I was high, my husband and I were discussing a certain sex thing we wanted to try that required a dildo with a suction cup. I went online to order one. Apparently, in my intoxicated state, I failed to check the length. It arrived a few days later. I opened the box and found a monstrous 3-foot dong, which was, uh, a tad long for our purpose."
7. "I got in the shower and started shampooing my hair. I felt cold, so I turned around and realized I never turned the water on."
8. "Last time I ate an edible, I got way too high and was lying on the couch next to my boyfriend. I told him I couldn’t move, so he jokingly nudged me and I rolled off the couch and landed face down on the floor, and stayed there for like two hours."
9. "I was in an elevator with multiple other people, and I kept clicking the "1" button (we were on first floor), and asking why we weren’t moving."
10. "I accidentally dropped a giant knob of butter on the open dishwasher door, and started wiping it to clean it off. After five minutes, I realized I was actually just really diligently 'buttering' the dishwasher like a baking tray."
11. "My friends and I stayed in a 'haunted' hotel during Halloween. It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to make pot brownies...even less smart to eat another brownie when I 'didn’t feel anything' 30 minutes after eating the first. Fast-forward to me lying in bed high out of my mind, when I felt someone sit down on my bed. I 100% thought it was a ghost, so I squeezed my eyes shut really tight, pulled the blanket over my head, and started crying, 'Go away, please go away, please!' Until I heard my friend say, 'What the hell are you doing?' My friend that was sitting on the bed. I forgot she was in the room with me the whole time."
12. "I did some edibles and was watching Black Mirror, a show about how technology is basically the downfall of society. My router went down and my TV wouldn’t work. Then, the browser and some apps on my phone stopped working (probably because the Wi-Fi wasn’t working). I freaked the fuck out because I thought the machines were taking over. Turns out, I just needed to reset the router, which happens about once a month."
13. "I got way too high and called my brother, a PhD scientist, and asked if the water I drank was the same water dinosaurs used to swim and pee in. I left a voicemail and was very embarrassed the next morning."
14. "Once I was so high, I called my boss to say that I'm sick and can't come into work today. It was Saturday evening and I had an 8 a.m.–5 p.m., Monday–Friday job. Luckily, we both had a laugh."
15. "I was once so high, I stopped at a stoplight that only changed when a car was there and triggered it. I waited and waited. I thought, Omg what the fuck is wrong with this stoplight. I scooted forward a bit, and nothing. WTF? Until I realized that I was walking home, and I was also on the sidewalk standing next to a stop sign a block away. I was waiting for a stoplight, on foot, a block away from me."
16. "For my munchie meal, once I went and ordered Chipotle but also stopped at Sonic and got a corn dog. I stuffed the corn dog into my burrito and ate it. To this day, it’s the best meal I’ve ever eaten."
17. "I had a tattoo gun and was practicing on fake skin. I got so high, I thought I could control it with my mind and spent 10 minutes wondering why nothing happened."
18. And finally, "I got so high that I spent 30 minutes texting my friends asking if they'd seen my phone. I have one phone, and I was using it to text."
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
Do you have any hilarious "I got way too high" stories of your own? Share them in the comments!
Note: As fun and enjoyable as smoking weed can be, the fight for cannabis justice/reform is far from over, and thousands of people are still sitting in jail on marijuana charges. To learn more about this and how you can get involved, see our guide here, or visit Last Prisoner Project.