1. When Christina Aguilera thought that tiny chain around her torso would save her. Stan Honda / AFP / Getty Images 2. When Lindsay Lohan wanted to show off her bikini tan line. Mark Mainz / Getty Images 3. When Keira Knightley's goal was to show as much of her torso as possible. Amanda Edwards / Getty Images And boy did those jeans deliver. 4. When Jennifer Lopez put all her faith in that delicate little sparkle belt. George De Sota / Getty Images 5. When Mischa Barton chose to rock these velvet capris. Matthew Peyton / Getty Images 6. When Ashlee Simpson wanted to show off just her hip bones and nothing else. Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images 7. When Britney Spears broke the record for shortest inseam ever worn. Kevin Winter / Getty Images 8. When Tara Reid flew dangerously close to the sun. Mychele Daniau / AFP / Getty Images 9. And then flew even closer. Getty Images 10. When Kirsten Dunst wanted to channel business casual, with emphasis on the casual. Don Emmert / AFP / Getty Images 11. And Hilary Duff followed suit. Kevin Winter / Getty Images 12. When Rihanna's jeans didn't let the fact that they'd slipped past her undies deter them. Kevin Winter / Getty Images 13. Just look at that sheer fortitude. Brad Barket / Getty Images 14. When Britney was like, "Eh, I don't need a button." Kevin Winter / Getty Images 15. And then Paris Hilton was like, "I don't need a button OR a zipper." Getty Images 16. "Like, seriously, who needs them???" David Klein / Getty Images 17. And Jennifer Lopez was like, "I agree!" Jeremy Piper / Getty Images 18. And Pink was like, "Hold my beer." George De Sota / Getty Images 19. To be honest, I don't think Pink was afraid of anything back then. George De Sota / Getty Images That is the face of someone completely unfazed. BONUS: When Paris Hilton wore this to the MTV Movie Awards. Kevin Winter / Getty Images Look at her. Not even a glint of fear in her eyes. Iconic. IN CONCLUSION: Low-rise jeans were a slap in the face to modern physics and a true scientific marvel. Try and change my mind.