This Woman's Viral Argument With Her Husband Over Laundry Has Started A Conversation About Ableism In Relationships
"If the only thing your partner is contributing to your relationship is their physical presence, it’s not enough."
Bonnie is a 31-year-old disability advocate and student from the Midwest who's been "disabled to some extent [her] entire life."
She told BuzzFeed, "I was born with several genetic disorders, but some of the signs and symptoms of those disorders did not present until around age 10, and some of them didn't become severely disabling until my late teens and early 20s. I live with a connective tissue disorder, multiple neurological conditions, a brain injury, and many other comorbidities that relate to those conditions."
"My disabilities affect every system of my body and every facet of my life, but I do not define myself solely by them."
Bonnie is also married, and she recently went viral on TikTok for sharing the ongoing conflict she's had with her husband about his "inability" to do laundry correctly:
In the video, Bonnie explains that "for the millionth time," she's had to teach her 33-year-old husband how to do their laundry properly. Because every time he does it, he "totally bungles it" and claims he just can't do laundry. "Mind you, he can do it," Bonnie says in the video. "He's a perfect execution engineer."
Bonnie further explains that years ago, she suggested they put up a whiteboard with laundry instructions, so her husband could have a guide for how to do it. For years, he ignored that idea, until recently, when their marriage counselor suggested the exact same thing. Meanwhile, Bonnie still had to tell him exactly what to write on the whiteboard, even though she's been telling him the same thing over and over for years.
She closes the video by asking, "Do I have a right to be annoyed and angry that it took him this long to do it, and then as soon as someone else suggests it, he falls all over himself and does it, and then wants a cookie for doing it?"
Bonnie's TikTok inspired thousands of comments, and many people agreed that, yes, Bonnie DOES have a right to be upset:
And some even went so far as to call her husband's antics a perfect example of "weaponized incompetence":
*For those who don't know, weaponized incompetence is a concept that's been gaining traction on TikTok in the last few years. It refers to when someone pretends to not know how to do a task, or purposely does it wrong, so that someone else will do it for them instead.