I've been on the internet a long time, which means that whether I like it or not, I've seen plenty of things that changed me forever.
But I don't think anything could have prepared me for this TikTok from @luciferscallgirl that documents two slugs having an ~intimate moment~, which she just so happened to stumble upon while taking out the trash. It's been viewed over 7 million times, so at least I know I'm not alone.
Because I knew that I'd never be able to come back from this, I decided to dig a little deeper into how slugs get it on, and what I found out was indeed bonkers-bananapants.
According to a very helpful BBC video, slugs — in this case, Leopard Slugs — actually have both male and female organs. However, they still need to mate in order to produce. So basically, when they mate, they both ~give~ and ~receive~ during the process.
When a slug decides it's time to mate, they give their slime trail a specific smell and taste in order to attract a partner.
Then, once another slug has shown its...ahem...interest, the two find an overhang so they can hang upside down on a rope of mucus and intertwine. TBH, pretty romantic!
At this point, while doing a full-on Cirque du Soleil, they each eject their male sex organs from BEHIND THEIR HEADS, and the organs grow super long so they can also entwine.
Once the units are perfectly twirled, they fan out to create what I can only describe as a model of Saturn, and sperm actually PASSES THROUGH IT FROM ONE SLUG TO THE OTHER. Both slugs leave perfectly satisfied, aka fertilized.
Also, not shown in the TikTok but explained in the BBC video, is that the encounter ends with one slug just sliding off and plopping onto the ground without so much as a goodbye (which, like, same).
So, yeah! That's how slugs have sex! Pretty wild, but also pretty metal, right? I'll just be here, sitting with all these new images burned into my brain.
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