People Are Sharing The Final Straws That Caused Them To End Their Long-Term Relationships And Some Are Gut-Wrenching, While Others Are Infuriating
"I realized being with him felt worse than being without him."
1. "After a miscarriage, he immediately said, 'Well, that sucks, but it's over with, so let's move on.' I never looked at him the same."
2. "I was in a six-year relationship with someone who was extremely selfish. One day, I realized I loved the home we shared, but I wasn't there with the right person. A few weeks later, he missed Christmas with my family to get NFL autographs, and I had to work overnight in a call center, then drive home in a blizzard. My mom had a heart-to-heart with me, gave me an out, and told me I could move in with her and her husband for a bit. I started making plans that night and never looked back. I'm now happily married to someone else."
3. "When I shared my finances and I didn't know anything about his after almost five years together. I was always the one making sure we had everything paid and the cars had gas, with no money coming out of his account. He always said he had things to take care of with the car, but instead would spend weekends partying."
4. "Things hadn’t been great between us for a bit, and it was becoming quite obvious he didn’t want the commitment of a relationship anymore. The last straw, however, was when I went to the hospital to have my appendix removed and he never called, barely messaged, and even ignored most of my messages. We both realized soon after that it wasn’t right anymore."
5. "We were talking about moving in together, and I told him I was worried about how much he drank. I told him if he could go a month consuming only the recommended amount of alcohol, I’d move in. He said that we didn’t have to move in together."
6. "The day I buried my dad, he dropped me off at the funeral home and went to shoot pool with his friends."
7. "When I realized they didn't love me, they just loved that I loved them. The ultimate manipulation."
8. "We were together for almost six years. Engaged, lived together, the whole thing. He would come home from work and I would greet him at the door every night. One night, I was watching TV when he came in and had the door open so I didn’t have to get up. He blew up at me, saying I cared more about my show than him. I told him I was sorry and I would be more attentive toward him after work. I came home the NEXT DAY and he was lying on the couch, TV on, face in his phone. He didn’t even bother looking up when I kissed his forehead. We broke up that night. I couldn’t handle the double standards I was constantly living in."
9. "When my now-former partner told our couples counselor, 'I don’t care what I say to him or how I say it, he’s just going to deal with it.'"
10. "When he told me that he sometimes daydreamed about me getting hit by a car because it would've been easier than breaking up with me."
11. "After nearly six years together, I bought us a house he finally liked, and then when my offer — I was buying it on my own — was accepted, I told him he could move in right away because his lease was almost up, and he said no. I had been trying to get us to move in together for three years, and he kept saying I couldn't afford it. I worked my ass off, and now I own a nice home with a mortgage payment that's lower than his rent for his shitty, disgusting apartment. His loss!"
12. "He was the best when things were great, and the worst when things were bad. I dealt with his crazy roller coaster for five years. Then I received a message that he'd cheated on me...on my birthday. He didn’t deny it, so we separated. Stupid me was hopeful that we might be able to work it out. The final straw was when he told me he got a different girl pregnant during that two-month separation. It was the best thing that ever happened to me because I’m the happiest I’ve been in the last five years."
13. "We broke up and got back together, and he was a completely different person. He was so cold to me, made minimal effort in every way, and made me feel like I had to fight for his attention. I did everything I could to make it work, but when I realized being with him felt worse than being without him, I left."
14. "When I got back from holiday and my stomach fell when I saw her. I hadn't missed her at all, and that week away was the first time I felt like myself in years. I stayed for almost another year because I hoped I'd fall back in love for her sake, and it was what was familiar. Then, when she cheated, I was relieved. I knew I wasn't in love anymore, and I had my out. After I tried for five years to make us work, she'd shown her true colors and I could walk away, knowing I'd tried everything I could."
"Trust your gut, people. I knew a few months in that things weren't right, but I stayed because I loved her and I didn't trust myself, and made excuse after excuse. If your gut is telling you it's not right, then it's not right."
15. "For me, it was finding out he was still married — though not living with the person — for almost 15 years before we met, and then the 15 years we were together."
16. "I thought I'd found the man I was going to marry. I'd never been in love like I was, and I can confidently say I would've moved mountains to be with him. He wouldn't. His family was very religious, more like a cult. This cult didn't allow them to have close friends outside of their faith, so even that had to be a secret. I finally realized I'm worth so much more than that, and he was never going to fight for what we had."
17. "We were together for 15 years. I'd even moved out for the last four years before either of us would admit defeat. But the last straw for me was when he picked me up from the airport after I visited my friend in Canada, and instead of listening to all of my exciting stories about my trip, he bulldozed the conversation yet again to talk about himself. I realized then that he didn't want me, he just wanted someone to talk at. We split very amicably, but it was still heartbreaking after all that time together."
18. "When he ghosted me for three weeks a week after Valentine’s Day, and I had to break the silence to hear that he was in no rush to talk to me. Mind you, we'd already talked at length about how long stints of silence don’t work in a long-distance relationship."
19. "The final straw was when I found out about six months into couples counseling that she'd decided to start up an affair with a friend of hers. The affair went on about three months before I discovered it, so we did nine months total of couples counseling before I broke it off. Here I was, every couple of weeks pouring my heart out, trying to save an already bad relationship, trying to embrace vulnerability by acknowledging how I contributed to a bad dynamic, and trying to express how she was hurting me through her own actions as well, and she was going through the motions while seeing her friend behind my back."
20. "We finally called it quits after eight years of long distance. Neither of us was ready to uproot our respective lives to be in another city and start from scratch, find a new job, new place, etc., and when you stop missing someone who's supposed to be one of the most important people in your life, it says a lot."
21. And finally, "I came home from a seminar at the employment office to find that my girlfriend had left with all of her stuff, no note. Our landlady told me that some friends of hers showed up with a van right after I left that morning."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.