Let's be honest here: Except for the rare occasions where it goes REALLY well, dating isn't all that fun.
Why? Because most of the time, the date either feels like watching paint dry or it's just really, really BAD. As proof, Reddit user u/Zuzpo recently asked people to share their "I shouldn't have showed up for the date" stories, and these responses will make you thank your lucky stars your last dinner and drinks were simply "uneventful":
1. "When he said he was actually from an entirely different state, looked completely different from his photos, and then asked if he could borrow $400 for methadone before we even ordered. I left immediately."
2. "I went to his house to play Magic after meeting him at my local game store a few times. I excused myself to pee, and as I was peeing, he stood outside of the bathroom door and did an awful impression of the Joker laugh while saying he’d been 'waiting' for someone like me and other extremely creepy phrases about how I was 'perfect for him.'
"The post-peeing bathroom exit was so absolutely awkward: Riddled with me saying several different versions of, 'Oh wow, that was a great Joker impression,' and him continuing to speak like the Joker. It was the longest, most tense, fearful walk down the stairs. I left shortly after that. It still tortures me."
3. "When, at the party I met her at, her current boyfriend said, 'Go ahead, take her. I’m sick of her shit.'"
4. "I went on a date a few months after me and my college girlfriend had broken up. I'd matched with this girl on a dating app and we messaged a bit, but she was relentless about wanting to know more about my ex and how I felt after the breakup. I looked past this and met her for dinner a couple nights later. I walked into the restaurant and my ex was sitting at the table under that girl's name. I turned around to walk out and got a dating app notification from the girl I'd agreed to meet: 'You’ll never be able to get away from me.' Should've stayed home that night."
5. "When he read me poetry he wrote about his ex, and then showed me his Viagra stash."
6. "I met a girl at a bar, and things clicked well. We went on a date a few nights later, and she showed up with her 'sister.' I didn’t think anything of it at the time and figured she was probably being safe since we'd just met. But this happened two more times. I finally said, 'Can we go out without your sister?' She seemed insulted at the idea. I found out months later that she had no sister, it was just her friend and they did everything together. Truly strange."
7. "When I waited at the restaurant longer than I'd like to admit, I called him asking if he was on his way, and he said yes. When he finally showed up, he told me he'd just gotten to the gym when I called. It was a bad night."
8. "He didn't let me look at a menu, ordered for me (a water and a kids' chicken tenders meal — I'm 24), ate half my meal, and was talking so much about himself, he spit pieces of chicken at me."
9. "We had a great time at dinner and went for a walk through a park afterward. We were walking along and talking, and she mentioned that she was still 'technically' engaged to a guy, but she was only marrying him because he'd gotten her pregnant. But she'd had a miscarriage a few days ago and hadn't told him yet. Since there was now no baby, and she'd met me, she was going to tell him and break up with him. There was no second date."
10. "She told me she'd recently celebrated 100 days of being sober, and then suggested we buy some cocaine. She told me not to worry about it, because she'd done it a few times since celebrating those 100 days."
11. "Ten minutes into the date, he was checking out the two women at the table next to us. Like, hardcore staring and peeking around the booth wall until they looked at him uncomfortably."
12. "He went on a long and obnoxious rant about how my job at the time — an assistant welder — was 'stupid and a waste of time,' and that I should become a dental hygienist, a job I had no interest in, because 'at least it has a future.'"
13. "She brought her ex-boyfriend to see if he approved. After he did, they asked for a three-way. This was not ever mentioned before the date."
15. "I picked her up and she said, 'Let’s hurry up and go, my husband will be back soon. Don’t worry, we’re getting divorced, but he won’t want to see me on a date.'"
16. "I showed up and her best friend was there, who I hadn’t been warned was coming with us. Then, her brother showed up. Then, her dad showed up. Then, her mom and her three cousins aged 3–5 showed up. That was the point I excused myself to the bathroom. THANKFULLY this was one of those places where the employees will sneak you out if you’re having a bad date and need an out, and apparently I was the first guy they snuck out at that point."
17. And finally: "He said, 'You're not pretty enough for me, but maybe you're freaky to make up for it.'"
Do you have any wild or unpleasant date stories? Let's commiserate in the comments.
Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity.