People With Penises Shared The Worst Thing About Having Them, And I — A Vagina Owner — Am Certifiably Shook
Bigger does not always equal better.
Since I'm a vagina owner, I don't often think about what it's like having other genitalia — vaginas seem to have enough going on as it is, IMO.
The thread quickly went viral, with over 23,000 responses. Here are some of the most enlightening:
Note: Just because these answers are (allegedly) from actual people with penises, they do not speak for penis owners as a whole. Everyone is different, and these responders can only speak to their own, individual experiences.
1. "Sometimes, when having a poop, you automatically pee, and it goes through the little gap between the toilet seat and bowl, wetting your underwear and bringing great shame. Then there's also the penis head touching toilet bowl moment."
2. "The possibility of testicular torsion has gotta be up there."
"I had one and got surgery to untwist it. I had both balls sewn to sack. The intensely painful recovery week makes you really understand just how much they move around. Even on painkillers, I dreaded each slow walk to the bathroom, calculating the next best move that would result in the least amount of painful ball shuffling. Lucky I got to keep them though!"
3. "They're the most temperamental things. Hard when you don't want them to be, soft when you want them to be hard. Sometimes, a light breeze makes them go off; sometimes it's like trying to start a fire with two wet sticks. That's the most annoying thing: They just don't always cooperate."
4. "When you finish peeing and the tip is still wet, so you give it a gentle flick, but some drops still remain so you dab it with a single toilet paper. But instead of the paper soaking up the moisture, scraps of toilet paper stick to your penis, like when you peel off a price tag but it doesn’t come off clean."
6. "Having the sudden urge to adjust it every FIVE MINUTES, especially with jeans. It gets soooo uncomfortable."
8. "Sometimes, semen dries in the tip of your penis. So, you go to the bathroom like normal, only the blockage has the same effect as holding your thumb over a hose, so your stream is split into two and — despite being properly aimed — the larger stream is hitting the wall, and the lesser stream is hitting your foot, and you adjust your aim to stop hitting the wall."
"That’s the point where the blockage clears, but you’re pointed in the wrong direction and also manage to spray the bottom of the lid before you realize your mistake. If you get jumpy during the incident, you bobble your junk around and make an even bigger mess."
10. "The fear that it may in some way get ripped off, or cut off (dick guillotine fear)."
12. "The constant cultural and individual need to assure ourselves that they're 'good enough.' Pro tip: If your partner is enjoying themselves, it's good enough. And if you can't do the deed for whatever reason, YOU'RE still valid, and valued."
13. "Circumstantially, whenever you feel any pain on it. I got my penis caught in a zipper exactly once, and I can tell you that death was by far more preferable."
14. "All the random things that can go wrong with it, or with things associated with it. Erectile dysfunction, testicular cancer, penile cancer, jock itch, testicular torsion, epididymitis, masturbating too much, masturbating too little, death grip, the countless issues you can have with your prostate, hydrocele, Peyronie's disease, and the list goes on forever. I understand that goes for just about any part of your body, but the penis often seems extra susceptible sometimes."
15. "When you masturbate, you need to make sure all the semen is out. Otherwise, if you don't, it hardens up and clogs your dick."
16. And finally, "The whole toxic culture around bigger = better. Men grow up learning through pop culture/TV/movies that having a large penis is powerful, which singles out smaller men in general and alienates them. In a world of 'body positivity,' smaller men are judged for something about them that is beyond their control and something they can never change. It can end up being traumatic for some."
"Mine is 'too big,' and sometimes hurts for women. While it sounds cool on paper to have a huge penis, it being uncomfortable for a woman makes sex not as great, as you can tell she’s in pain or wants to stop because it’s hurting more than feeling good."
Do you agree with these factoids about having a penis? Tell us why or why not in the comments!
Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity