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    This Bride Wants To Know If She's Justified In Asking Her Bridesmaid To Buy A New Dress In Order To Be In Her Wedding, And People Actually Agree With Her

    "She said I was being an awful friend and shaming her for her weight."

    Hello and welcome to another instance where we do a deep dive into a thread on the Am I the Asshole subreddit to determine if someone is, indeed, an A-hole. This particular instance has to do with weddings, brides, and bridesmaids.

    20th Century Fox

    Let's get right into it: The bride in question, Reddit user u/Ill-Trick4313, got engaged in 2018, and was planning to have her wedding in mid-2020. Obviously, that did happen thanks to the global pandemic we're still muddling through, and she rescheduled the wedding for May 2022. In 2019, before she knew they'd be postponing the wedding, she paid for all four of her bridesmaids' dresses, as well as all other "associated costs."


    Between 2019 and 2021, one of the bridesmaids, called "Jane" in the Reddit thread, allegedly "put on significant weight" and decided to embark on a "fitness journey" in 2021 to get back to her regular size.


    This brings us to February 2022, when Jane approaches u/Ill-Trick4313 (let's simply refer to her as "the bride" from here on out) and tells her she can't fit into the bridesmaid dress she originally bought for her, and will be needing a bigger dress for the wedding. The bride can't return the dress since she bought it two years ago, and also can't resell it for much money since it's still available online, now for a discounted rate.

    BBC Three

    So, the bride tells Jane how much she hopes to make from selling the dress, and that Jane can use that money toward purchasing a new dress. The bridesmaid dresses for the wedding aren't identical, so she just needs to buy a dress with a similar vibe. However, the bride tells Jane she CANNOT buy her a new dress outright, and she'll have to cover the rest of the cost herself. She also says it doesn't have to be expensive, and offers to help Jane find a dress within her budget.


    Jane DOES NOT like this response. In the bride's words: "She said I was being an awful friend and shaming her for her weight. She said she couldn't afford a new dress, and said I had to pay for her dress, or she couldn't be at my wedding. I told her I couldn't pay more than I was offering for a new dress, and I understood that she couldn't be a bridesmaid, and I hoped she'd be able to make it to the wedding as a guest."


    The bride hopes the conversation will end there, but Jane doubles down: "She teared up and called me cheap for not paying for a bridesmaid dress since I'd paid for everyone else's, and that if I really wanted 'my friend' there, I'd actually make an effort and brought up how much we were spending for our wedding, and how 'an extra small purchase would be nothing.'"


    By now, the bride has had enough and tells Jane that if she doesn't want to buy a new dress, the other options are to find a way to fit into the old dress, or not come at all. Jane breaks down in tears and runs out, and proceeds to tell everyone in the bridal party that the bride is threatening to "kick her out" of the wedding if she doesn't lose weight.


    Now the bride's feeling pressure to simply buy Jane a new dress so they can all move on and get over it. She can't tell if she's just being stubborn, or if she's right for "having a backbone and sticking to [her] decision."


    It's definitely a sticky situation, but the majority of people commenting on the thread are actually on the bride's side and think Jane's the one in the wrong:

    "You've already bought her one, and it's been returned. You've said it doesn't have to be costly. You've offered to help her look. You've offered the money from the original dress. ... If she apologizes and backs down soon, I'd still have her as a guest, but under no circumstances as a bridesmaid anymore. She went to try and make you look bad to your friends. That's a different thing than asking for advice or backup."


    "Normally, I'd say it's a bit stupid buying dresses so far out from the wedding, but with the pandemic, lots of people have been in the same position. What if in another few weeks, she puts on more? Or loses more? Or any other circumstance? At the end of the day, YOU DID buy her a bridesmaid dress. If she needs to change it, that's on her now."


    "You already bought her a dress (which is more than most brides do anyway). You’re under no obligation to buy her another. She even has the freedom to pick anything that fits the vibe, and that’s still not enough."


    What are your thoughts on this? Is the bride being a bridezilla for refusing to buy Jane a new dress, or is Jane being totally unreasonable here? Tell us where you stand in the comments!

    And for more drama-filled stories, click here.

    Note: Responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.