Thanks!!

Thanks!!!! She appreciates all the love on here.

#12 is me and my mom! she’s the one in purple! thanks buzzfeed :)

in purple is the mom, lol she’s my mom

the one in purple! :)

thanks!!! she loves hearing that lol. Mom is in purple.

Right after I had given birth to our second child, I was on pain pills because hello? Labor sucks. Anyway, anytime you are on pain killers, you normally should take stool softeners. I didn’t. So on the Fourth of July, two weeks after her birth we decided to have a party. I had to poop but it hadn’t worked it’s way down yet. Around the time that the party was dying down, I excused myself to poop. I was so constipated from the pain pills that it literally felt like I was giving birth. I tried to hold in the screams but I couldn’t. I was literally tearing my asshole and it hurt to push. I called my husband in and asked him to help me pull this turd out. Long story short, my husband had to help pull a big turd out of my butt and I got an anal fissure in my ass. Ouch.

Giordanos in Chicago!!!! Hello? Stuffed pizza.

I started dating this guy right before prom. We both were going with friends but figured we would see each other and hang out after. He disappeared for awhile so I figured he was hanging out with his date. Monday morning, I heard from everyone that he had gotten caught having sex with his ex BOYFRIEND in the bathroom at prom and got kicked out. Suh-weet.

My mom has super distinctive handwriting. Like the kind of handwriting that you can’t imitate on a bad test or report card. Well me and my sister noticed that “Santa” had the same handwriting as mom. Change it up mom! (I love you).

Where’s the spotify playlist?