back to top

19 Things That Will Only Make Sense To People Who Care Deeply About Pooping

You know who you are.

Posted on

1. You know your bathroom success stories rival all non-bathroom-related stories.

Hashtag clear winner.
Shayna Brewer

Hashtag clear winner.

2. You become concerned because you notice the poop emoji is no longer in your frequently used cache.

TV Land / Via

Am I depressed? Or just constipated?

3. You group text pics of every bathroom you desecrate to friends and family.

Poo pourri / Via

"See this bathroom? I DESTROYED IT."

4. Your skepticism of poo-pourri becomes unadulterated joy when you realize it ACTUALLY works.

Poo Pourri / Via

"My shit DOESN'T stink, Rebecca."

5. You become a master of the poop-moji arts.

Toot toot!
Shayna Brewer

Toot toot!

6. You don't let your lack of funds keep you from reaping the benefits of a squatty potty. You improvise by using the side of the bathtub, or books!

Shayna Brewer and Alicia Herber

7. You'll know by noon what kind of day you'll have based off of the number and quality of BMs you've taken.

Nickelodeon / Via

"Dang...three times? I'm GETTING that promotion, Gary."

8. You wonder if Earth's gravitational pull has become weaker, or if you really DID lose half of your body mass during your last bowel movement.

Image Comics / Via Bitch Planet Book 1

9. You try to show off your magnificent movement to your partner and/or friends, but they're super lame, so your hard work goes down the toilet, instead of the pages of History.

The WB / Via

That's the last time I "appreciate" your origami, Rebecca.

10. You like to slide, "Guess what I'm doing right now?!?!?!?!" messages into your significant other's DMs, with clues similar to these:

Shayna Brewer

11. You love going #2 at work, because you essentially get paid to poop.

12. Your BM descriptions are colorful, albeit terrifying...

Fox / Via

"I was so was like giving birth to a swordfish...yarr."

13. You begin to worry your comfort with feces is starting to affect the quality and diversity of the presents you receive.

"Yayyyyy...more shit."
Ali Express / Via

"Yayyyyy...more shit."

14. You know coffee is the elixir of the bowels, and you worship it with every breath you take.

@designtaxi / scoopnest / Via

15. This is your idea of a humble brag:

I just told you I'm constipated, Rebecca.
Shayna Brewer

I just told you I'm constipated, Rebecca.

16. Your search engine has a tendency to look like this:

Shayna Brewer

17. You let everyone on your contact list know when this injustice happens:

18. You discuss the science behind bowel movements to anyone who will listen.

@GetterOfficial / Via Twitter: @GetterOfficial

19. And you never, ever get tired of exploring all the unsolved mysteries related to this magical experience.

NBC / Via

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right
The best things at three price points