*Sigh* Alaska. Ain't she a beaut?
But wait. Look at her from this angle.
Now from the side.
OMG, Alaska, werk!
It's truly impossible to look at these pictures and not want to visit.
But before you bless our beautiful state with your presence, here are a few fun facts that you may not be aware of. Once you know them, dazzle your friends with your new-found knowledge!
1. First off (AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT), we call these little contraptions snow-machines, not snowmobiles.
2. And we call the contiguous states the "Lower 48."
3. Pot was legalized in Alaska in 2015!
4. On a surprisingly unrelated note, we eat more ice-cream, per capita, than any other state. We're so dang fun!
5. This is the Alaskan idea of "glamping".
6. And this is our idea of jewelry! Lol just kidding! We mostly make these for tourists. They love everything moose poop.
7. Each one of us has had to argue with a Texan over which state is the biggest.
8. HINT: It's Alaska. Alaska is bigger.
9. When Alaskans say the lights are out, we're not talking about a power outage.
10. And we really do get paid a dividend annually to live there.
11. Aside from regular winter sports, we entertain ourselves with human bowling.
12. Skijoring with our dogs!
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This is one of the goodest doggos I ever sawrrrrr.
13. And outhouse races!
14. Our bikini season is different from the rest of the world's.
15. And we don't have our own currency. It is the same as the rest of the US.
16. We love Fred Meyer because we can buy a couch, an outfit, groceries, a new vaccuum, a decorative vase, a new set of markers, a starbucks coffee, camping supplies, a kid's toy AND visit the bank in one trip when it's 40 degrees below zero outside.
17. We're constantly explaining to out-of-state friends that penguins don't exist in the northern hemisphere.
18. We plug our cars into outlets so they don't turn into un-drive-able blocks of ice.
19. In addition to that, our tires freeze and become flat on the bottom. It basically feels like we're driving a vehicle with square tires for several miles before they finally warm up.
20. But we don't let the cold weather deter us from doing ordinary activities, like, oh, I don't know, 100 mile bike races.
21. And we all have a vitamin D deficiency due to the lack of sunlight in the winter. It's only a few hours between sunrise and sunset.
22. Summers are the complete opposite. It's always light out, which makes it easy to lose track of the time.
23. Summer is also mosquito season, and our mosquitos are the WORST.
24. No really. They're THE WORST.
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I'm itchy just from watching this.
25. But aside from the plague of mosquitos, our cities have fun little quirks that we love:
26. Anchorage was home to Buzzwinkle, Alaska's notoriously drunk moose. He loved to eat fermented apples like it was nobody's business.
27. A man with the legal name Santa Claus lives in a town called North Pole, Alaska.
His predecessor was Kris Kringle. I'm not even joking.
28. Fairbanks is home to extreme temperatures. What you're seeing here is a 143 degree variance from winter to summer.
29. And for 20 years, the mayor of Talkeetna was a handsome cat named Stubbs. We miss ya, baby boy!
30. Alaska, as a whole is a wildly wonderful place. Some days we are lucky enough to see something as innocent and beautiful as this calf frolicking in a sprinkler.
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It's so dang cute.
31. Other days, we get an eyeful of this. (Pro-tip: don't leave fish bait in the bed of your truck.)
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Unlucky for the owner of that pickup truck...but lucky for us BECAUSE LOOK AT THOSE BEAST BIRDS.
32. And if we're REALLY lucky, we'll have a chance to witness something as extraordinary as this humpback breaching next to an Alaskan dock.
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I'd scream with joy and pee myself simultaneously if I saw this.
In conclusion, Alaska is flippin' awesome! Now that you know some new things about the LARGEST STATE in the US of A, get your booty in gear and come up here!
You won't regret it.
