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17 Of The Best Gifts To Send To Your Enemy (or Best Friend)

Here, have a bag of dicks and a real shitty day

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1. A Box of Poop

Buy it here for the piece of shit in your life.
Via oddee.com

Buy it here for the piece of shit in your life.

2. A Cardboard Penis

shipadick.com[34]/1/

Ah a classic, personal favorite of mine. ShipADick can make all of Andy Samberg's Loney Island dreams come true; it will literally send dicks in a box.

3. A Bag Full of Dicks

Not a fan of the giant, cardboard dick? DicksByMail offers a great way to tell your loved ones to eat a bag of (edible) dicks!
Via dicksbymail.com

Not a fan of the giant, cardboard dick? DicksByMail offers a great way to tell your loved ones to eat a bag of (edible) dicks!

4. A Fuck Ton of Glitter

The website ShipYourEnemiesGlitter will do essentially just that.
Via shipyourenemiesglitter.com

The website ShipYourEnemiesGlitter will do essentially just that.

5. A Butt-hurt Care Package

For just $12.99 you can send the most condescending gift of all: a care package to someone who just can't take a joke. "The kit includes our famous Butthurt topical cream for instant anal relief, a glitter clean-up cloth to aid in the removal of the stripper-dust, and a pocket pack of Kleenex for the tears. For an extra $2 we'll throw in some tampons for that pussy." Buy it here.
Via ruindays.com

For just $12.99 you can send the most condescending gift of all: a care package to someone who just can't take a joke. "The kit includes our famous Butthurt topical cream for instant anal relief, a glitter clean-up cloth to aid in the removal of the stripper-dust, and a pocket pack of Kleenex for the tears. For an extra $2 we'll throw in some tampons for that pussy." Buy it here.

6. An Anal Probe

Makes sense. Purchase here.
Via prankpostage.com

Makes sense. Purchase here.

7. An Envelope of Mayo

At $25 a pop, Mayo by Mail is a bit pricey, but arguably one of the nastiest. It is accompanied by a note that reads, "My hate for Mayonnaise is only matched by my hate for you." Harsh.
Via mayobymail.com

At $25 a pop, Mayo by Mail is a bit pricey, but arguably one of the nastiest. It is accompanied by a note that reads, "My hate for Mayonnaise is only matched by my hate for you." Harsh.

8. The Middle Finger

Why not go with a classic? So simple, yet super effective. Bird by Mail will anonymously send your enemy literally just a piece of paper that reads "Hi!" to offer a false sense of security, then when opened reveals a big, fat middle finger.

9. Condoms

Send 4 rubbers to someone who should really wrap it before they tap it, for humanity's sake.

10. Prank Candles

WTF Candles are revenge served extra cold, as they offer the appearance of a nice present, but in actuality are a ticking-time bomb of a baby's diaper, of sweaty ass, or of man fart. Excellent.

11. A Piece of Gum

Is your enemy's ass jealous of all of the shit that comes out of his mouth? Let him know! While not so much as a malicious gift, but rather, a valuable piece of advice, BestPranksByMail will ship that one person who "forgets" to brush his/her teeth each morning an anonymous note explaining that they smell like pure shit.

12. A Brick

You might be thinking No brickin' way. But yes, ship a brick here.
Via funkydelivery.com

You might be thinking No brickin' way. But yes, ship a brick here.

13. Laxatives

One of the more hateful options; Boxed Revenge will ship a lovely box full of chocolate covered laxatives to the person in your life that's just "full of it."
Via boxedrevenge.com

One of the more hateful options; Boxed Revenge will ship a lovely box full of chocolate covered laxatives to the person in your life that's just "full of it."

14. A Shit Load of Fake Money

Nothing like destroying someone's false sense of hope and excitement! Send this douchebag a stack of $50,000 in movie prop money here.

15. A Potato

An anonymous message being delivered on just a potato. Well, a potato with some stamps.
Via potatoparcel.com

An anonymous message being delivered on just a potato. Well, a potato with some stamps.

16. A Douche Mug

Such a creative, yet very simple way to screw over that dick in your life. What seems to be a harmless coffee mug, when lifted to drink out of, reveals a truthful message. Get it here.
Via stupid.com

Such a creative, yet very simple way to screw over that dick in your life. What seems to be a harmless coffee mug, when lifted to drink out of, reveals a truthful message. Get it here.

17. Absolutely Nothing

Say it again! Yes, this exists too, because there is absolutely nothing worse than excitedly opening a package only to discover nothing inside.
Via prankcandles.com

Say it again! Yes, this exists too, because there is absolutely nothing worse than excitedly opening a package only to discover nothing inside.

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