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Which Male Non-Distance Runner Are You?

It's time to find out which Male Non-Distance you are!

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  1. What are you doing on a Friday night

    Resting before a meet
    Going out and getting schwasted
    binge sleeping
    getting fucked up but most importantly staying safe
    Blacking the fuck out
    Throwing shit against a wall absolutely piss drunk (the bagel story is a killer)
    recovering from Thursday night
    praying I don't spontaneously have to run a 4x4 the next day
    Drinking.....a general amount
  2. What is your choice of drink?

    BEER! Or a fancy scotch
    chocolate milk till the casket drops
    green apple ciroc- celebrate success
    Grape soda, you think I drink alcohol UNDER AGE?
    Craft beers, because I'm a fucking loser
    anything that contains alcohol
    beer, strawberry lemonade svedka?
    Shots of fireball
    Four lokos!
  3. you wake up 10 minutes before class, what do you do?

    Take my ass right back to sleep
    Jump out of bed and sprint to class
    try again tomorrow
    go back to sleep for 9 minutes then leisurely stroll into class.
    Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
    Haul my ass there because I'm a borderline weenie
    I don't school good
    *squidward meme where he just shuts the blinds*
    go to class
  4. if you could have a superpower, what would it be?

    telepathy
    to hold my breath for like an hour so I can just chill underwater
    mind control
    Invisibility
    Ability to have people actually like me
    time travel
    Animal echolocation
    Stop time
    Mind reading
  5. what is your spirit animal?

    Honey badger
    A smol pupper
    manatee
    Monkey
    Penguin
    A sloth
    DJ Khaled
    okapi
    a bear (teddy or grizzly)
  6. what is your biggest pet peeve?

    stupid people
    laziness
    being sober
    People who walk too damn slow
    People breathing my air
    loud chewers
    hypocrites
    When they keep saying "like"
    Bad texters
  7. what do you look for in a woman?

    A sense of humor
    Beautiful eyes
    LIPS & can take a joke as well as dish one out
    funny and athletic and a pretty face
    She gotta be thiqqqqq with no personality
    Long, tan and handsome
    holes.
    Long Island/NY trash
    confident, sense of humor, athletic
  8. what kind of music do you like?

    everything but heavy metal and edm (unless I'm drunk)
    music that would make you think I'm a raging stoner
    bluegrass music
    Everything and country during the summer
    Mongolian throat music
    rap/hip hop throwbacks
    ANYTHING but country.
    Everything including (very little) country
    R&B and hip hop (none of that young folk stuff though)
  9. what is your favorite food?

    Cheesesteak quesadilla
    Ramen
    penne vodka
    chicken parm
    Sheppard's Pie
    Fried Chicken
    chocolate chip pancakes
    yes
    meat
  10. where are we most likely to find you at?

    everywhere and nowhere all at once
    at my son's little league game yelling at the other dads that their kid is trash
    the village
    GQ or basically anywhere not my room (thanks roomie)
    In the backyard doing dad things
    GQ/Light Lounge
    chatting up them distance girls
    GQ or LSC
    The gym or the village
  11. favorite spongebob quote?

    Idk...spongebob is foolish
    "We did it Patrick! We saved the city!!"
    "people talk loud when they want to act smart, right? CORRECT"
    "is mayonnaise an instrument"
    Don't worry captain, we'll buff out those scratches
    "Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on *trombone noises*"
    "don't you have to be stupid somewhere else? Not until 4"
    the part where spongebob and Patrick are escaping the perfume department and the giant hand lifts up Patrick's gas mask and straight gasses him out with the perfume
    iiiiiiiimmmmmmmaaaaaaggggggiiiiiinnnnnnaaaaattttttiiiiiiooooooonnnnnn
  12. if you could travel anywhere where would it be?

    Israel
    ayeee la bella Roma con i paesani!
    ur moms house
    Switzerland
    into your DMs, gurl
    Rome, Italy
    London
    Venice, Italy
    The amazon forest
  13. what is your favorite meme?

    Mike Bessette
    Mike Bessette
  14. what is your favorite tv show?

    Breaking bad
    The Flash
    how I met your mother
    Parks and Rec
    Drake and Josh
    Naruto
    South Park
    rick and morty
    Scrubs
  15. what is your catchphrase?

    heyoooo!!!!!!!
    I want to die
    that's bad for business
    "That's some grade A ass"
    I'm just tryna sell out my funeral
    "what's cooler than being cool"
    bruh
    Puns are my catchphrase
    Just the tip

Which Male Non-Distance Runner Are You?

You got: MATT

HAHAHAHA YOU GOT MATTY ❄️! You may seem like a fuckboi at first but when someone gets to know you, you're actually a genuinely NICE GUY WHO ONE CAN BRING TO THEIR MOTHER. You can typically be found butting heads with finley, complaining about the 4x4, scrolling through twitter, napping, or just giggling about literally anything every other second.

MATT
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You got: JAKE!

Congrats, you got Jake. You know when you get offered cookies and you're like "hell fucking yea, I want a cookie" and then you're given oatmeal raisin and you're like "I mean, it's good, but like not what I was really hoping to get". That's probably what it feels like to get this result. But hey, at least you didn't get Mike Bessette, Tony Ware, and Matt Polanco. Those guys really suck lol

JAKE!
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You got: CHRIS

Wow! You got Mike "Hot" Rainone! What a feat! You're probably Long Island trash, listen to anything that could even be mistaken for music (and I mean anything), beg for your own mortal death on the daily, and probably use up WAY too much brain room on spongebob quotes then actually useful information. Whenever you're out in public, you're probably doing something unproductive or making other people's lives unproductive somehow. Oh wait nevermind you got Chris Dasaro, so essentially just a beardless Mike -- whatever that means to you. Have a dad-like day!

CHRIS
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You got: DIEGO

AYYYYY YOU GOT DIEGO!! You're pretty quiet, unless there are opportunities to make dumbass puns. You are a pretty a chill person who also knows how to party hard. You barely do any work and somehow pull off decent grades, and can usually be found in GQ pretending to do work or making people groan about your puns.

DIEGO
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You got: CAM!

Congrats you got Cam! You loveeee pop tarts even though you didn't have them until you were 16. You enjoy hanging out with Tony all the time and you're always down for a wild time.

CAM!
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You got: MIKE BESSETTE (AYYY)

CONGRATS!!! YOU GOT MIKE BESSETTE! You are so cool you have your own theme song. You act like a 9 year old boy who's still trying to find himself. You know how to break out with dance moves sometimes and you casually are an All American.

MIKE BESSETTE (AYYY)
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You got: MIKE R

Well, you got Mike Rainone, FORMERLY KNOWN as hot Mike. You're most likely blasting music, getting yelled at by Hackett for being incompetent or avoiding work in GQ but somehow pulling off decent grades. You're a disappointment to your parents, one hairy kid, but most importantly not running the 4x4

MIKE R
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You got: BEN

Congrats you got Ben. You are an amazing alcoholic teddy bear who everyone loves!

BEN
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You got: TONY

OH GAWD YOU GOT TONY! You are an interesting bit. That is all.

TONY
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