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This Is The Team India Should Send To The Cricket World Cup

Baba Ramdev as the specialist fielder? Victory guaranteed.

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The Openers: Kiran Bedi & Arvind Kejriwal

Pros: The team needs a pair of openers with electric chemistry to get the momentum going. What combination is more explosive than this dynamic duo? They must also be really proficient runners, because they're both so good at taking u- turns.

Cons: Running between the wickets may take a beating if the two of them start grabbing at each other's throats in the middle of the pitch.

1st Down: Arnab Goswami

Pros: Whichever opener gets out first, it is imperative that the next batsman keeps the chemistry alive. MAN, is he good at that.

Cons: Let's hope he doesn't start incessantly questioning the batsman at the other end in case of a missed run.

The Pinch Hitter: Dolly Bindra

Colors TV / Via youtube.com

Pros: Her verbal volleys have us convinced that if someone puts a cricket bat in her hands, she can do some serious damage. At the very least, nobody's going to make the mistake of sledging against her.

Cons: Dolly Bindra is in your team. Self explanatory.

The Middle Order Specialist: Aamir Khan

SEBASTIAN D'SOUZA/AFP / Getty Images

Pros: Aamir Khan is reliability personified. His presence in a movie just about guarantees a surefire hit. Having him in the team would greatly boost everyone's confidence (not that this team needs any more of that).

Cons: He can be a bit too much of a perfectionist. Let's hope he doesn't start running behind everyone with a protractor, trying to do everything himself. This is a team game, bro.

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The All Rounder: Farhan Akhtar

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Pros: He has been an actor, director, playback singer, screenwriter and a television show host. Every team needs a versatile all rounder, and this man perfectly fits the bill.

Cons: There is a high chance that he leaves the squad if his teammates keep trying to mimic his voice.

The Specialist Fielder: Baba Ramdev

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Pros: Have you seen how Mr. Ramdev moves his body around? Homeboy can twist himself around to pluck any ball out of the air.

Cons: He may concentrate less on fielding and more on selling his teammates life changing items such as these.

The Wicket Keeper: Kamaal R. Khan

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Pros: Sledging is a fine skill to possess when you're a cricketer. KRK's insightful anecdotes might be infuriating enough for the opposition's batsmen to get themselves out faster, in search of sweet relief.

Cons: His inclusion in the team is risky business. He may just have the exact same effect on his teammates.

The Spin Bowling Specialist: Uday Chopra

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Pros: A good spinner should know how to confuse the batsman into doing something stupid. Uday Chopra doesn't even need to bowl to do that.

Cons: We have just received information that Uday Chopra doesn't believe in Sachin Tendulkar. Such blasphemous talk would be a real dampener in the dressing room :'(

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The Pace Bowler: Deepika Padukone

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Pros: If you see her running towards you at full speed, defending your wicket will be the last thing on your mind. More importantly, a pacer needs to be aggressive, and Deepika is one hell of a BAMF.

Cons: She'll probably have this guy trying to catch her eye from the stands. Let's hope the WAG ban applies to him too.

The Captain: Narendra Modi

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Pros: Modi Ji is running a country of over a billion people. Surely he can govern a team of eleven Indians too.

Cons: With almost ten million followers, he may be way too busy checking his Twitter account to actually see what's going on in the game.

And of course... The Coach: Rahul Gandhi

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Pros: If things start going downhill, there'll have to be someone to blame. Poor old Rahul's probably used to that by now.

Cons: Nobody's really sure what a cricket coach does, to be honest. But that probably makes Mr. Gandhi a perfect fit for the role!