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13 Insanely Delicious Reasons Not To Light Any Fireworks This Diwali

Simple maths: Two less hands holding firecrackers give you two more hands to hold gulab jamuns.

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1. Because this jalebi won't scare your poor doggy with unnecessary loud noises.

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2. Because the only explosion this shrikhand will cause is a goddamn explosion of flavour in your mouth.

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3. Because eating some kaju barfi on the main road during a busy evening doesn't make you an asshole.

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4. Because this perfect bowl of phirni doesn't come with a billowing aftermath of smoke and burning eyes.

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5. Because you don't ever have to maintain a safe distance from this wonderful piece of soan papdi.

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6. Because this sweet, sweet gajar ka halwa doesn't have a non-biodegradable outer shell.

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7. Because you can bite into this flawless mohanthal without waking up your sleeping neighbour.

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8. Because this delicious plate of gujiya comes with a sum total of zero crippling environmental consequences.

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9. Because this sublime moti pak does not present itself as a safety hazard for the children.

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10. Because this plate of chirote isn't a probable cause for permanent hearing loss, no matter how crispy.

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11. Because this besan ka ladoo will have no harmful effect on the air we breathe, unless you fart smog.

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12. Because this balu shahi isn't dangerous, unless being irresistibly delicious is dangerous. Then it's dangerous AF.

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13. Because two less hands holding firecrackers give you two more hands to hold gulab jamuns. Maths is just amazing.

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So this diwali, put down the fireworks. Pick up some mithai. Share it with the fam. And play teen patti or something.

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