13 Insanely Delicious Reasons Not To Light Any Fireworks This Diwali

    Simple maths: Two less hands holding firecrackers give you two more hands to hold gulab jamuns.

    Shayan Roy
    by Shayan Roy

    BuzzFeed India Contributor

    1. Because this jalebi won't scare your poor doggy with unnecessary loud noises.

    2. Because the only explosion this shrikhand will cause is a goddamn explosion of flavour in your mouth.

    3. Because eating some kaju barfi on the main road during a busy evening doesn't make you an asshole.

    4. Because this perfect bowl of phirni doesn't come with a billowing aftermath of smoke and burning eyes.

    5. Because you don't ever have to maintain a safe distance from this wonderful piece of soan papdi.

    6. Because this sweet, sweet gajar ka halwa doesn't have a non-biodegradable outer shell.

    7. Because you can bite into this flawless mohanthal without waking up your sleeping neighbour.

    8. Because this delicious plate of gujiya comes with a sum total of zero crippling environmental consequences.

    9. Because this sublime moti pak does not present itself as a safety hazard for the children.

    10. Because this plate of chirote isn't a probable cause for permanent hearing loss, no matter how crispy.

    11. Because this besan ka ladoo will have no harmful effect on the air we breathe, unless you fart smog.

    12. Because this balu shahi isn't dangerous, unless being irresistibly delicious is dangerous. Then it's dangerous AF.

    13. Because two less hands holding firecrackers give you two more hands to hold gulab jamuns. Maths is just amazing.

    So this diwali, put down the fireworks. Pick up some mithai. Share it with the fam. And play teen patti or something.

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