17 Things You Should Never, Ever Say To Someone Who Lives In Pune
"Yeah, I suppose the weather's not bad."
1. "So, Pune's basically like a tinier, cheaper version of Mumbai, isn't it?"
It was nice knowing you.
2. "Oh, you're from Pune? Bet you moved there for the cheap accommodation."
It isn't our fault that the real estate is sensibly priced, you know.
But yeah, it's a bonus we're not complaining about.
3. "Why the hell does everyone keep talking about Vaishali's S.P.D.P.? And WHO IS VAISHALI?"
*Sigh* You have so much to learn, young padawan.
4. "So how many pairs of "Osho" slippers do you own?"
Two. One pair for wearing, and another for hurling at your dumb-ass face.
5. "Can you please stop going on and on about Kayani Bakery's Shrewsbury biscuits already?!?!"
Can't hear you over the sound of my incessant munching.
Here, have a Shrewsbury!
6. "Hey, have you ever been to Bhosari? Hehehe. Oh, have you ever been to Pimpri? HAHAHAHA."
Hey, have you ever been to kindergarten? Because it sounds like you never left.
7. "Meh, pretty sure I've had better Misal Pav in other cities."
That's cute.
8. "CAN YOU STOP GOING TO HIGH SPIRITS EVERY GODDAMN DAY??!!??!!?!??!?!?!"
No.
9. "So, do you go trekking to the nearby forts every day to pass your time?"
I mean, we DO have shopping malls, and we DO have Koregaon Park. But.... sure, we trek every day.
10. "Whoa, hold up a second. Pune has shopping malls?????"
Nah, college kids usually just go to the banks of the Mula-Mutha river after class and make mud castles.
11. "Oh, you're from Pune, is it? Let me guess, you graduated from Symbiosis."
Let me guess, you're ignorant.
12. "Budhwar peth, Shaniwar peth.... do you have a peth for every day of the week?"
Do you have an inconsequential remark saved up for every day of the week?
13. "I honestly think the sweets in Chitale Bandhu are kinda overrated, TBH."
I'm just going to go ahead and ignore that last statement. It is for your own safety.
14. "So, does Koregaon Park, like, even have a park?"
..................
15. "Do you guys ever ease up on all the freakin' festivals?"
You sound an awful lot like that one guy who always stays home and literally has no fun ever. Oh, wait... you ARE that one guy!!!!!
16. "Why don't Pune people ever take the bus?"
Let's not talk about it.
17. "Yeah, I suppose the weather's not bad."
PLEASE FUCK OFF WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.