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13 Reasons You're Absolutely Useless Without The Internet

As if you didn't know already. Come now, wayward internet users — log in once to Shaw Go WiFi, and you'll never have to log in again.

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1. You've forgotten how to eat without a screen.


Evidence A: the crumbs in your keyboard.

2. You've made more friends online than IRL.


You've Skyped, so you know it's real.

3. You've solved simple math by Googling the answer.


The Order of Operations starts with Google.

4. Instead of getting some fresh air, you refresh your Tumblr dashboard.

20th Century Fox / Via

Cinemagraphs are almost like being outside.

5. When visiting a new place, you only have one thing on your mind.


Never forget (your WiFi password).

6. It's been years since you used a real-life dictionary...


Don't pretend you don't sing the alphabet song in your head.

7. ...or touched the phone book.

ABC / Via

Unless it's for a good reason.

8. You're utterly helpless without turn-by-turn navigation.

Jest / Via

Be honest, do you know which way north is?

9. Your productivity drops to zero when Gmail is down.

Channel 4 / Via

"Gmail is temporarily unavailable? Me too."

10. You've taken breaks from the internet, but don't know what else to do.


So you stop taking them.

11. You don't know the exact date of your best friend's birthday...


Thanks, Facebook.

12. ...or even their phone number.


Siri, where are you??

13. Let's face it: You're much better at online dating than IRL dating.

Log in once, connect forever. Shaw Go WiFi offers access to 35,000 hotspots nationwide, and students get half off!